Posted

Nov 1st 2009

Mood

Okay, no need to read or comment. No one's online for me to talk to so I just need to do something to handle the anxiety, so here we go.

*takes deep breath*
So, it starts off okay. I get up, start doing chores and whatnot, but then my dad comes out all pissy, and what it's for I can't really blame him. Turns out the meat my mom pulled out to cook up bled all over the fridge and he didn't realize that it was on the bottle of green tea he took out of the fridge until afterward, so he's all pissy about it and yelling, though like I said, I can't blame him. I mean, it's a health risk and he's hardly home to take the time to be sick.

That's when things turned nasty. I took out the thing to clean it and all the stuff on the bottom shelf, using very hot water and some soap and I clean absolutely everything. So, you think that'd be good enough right? Well, hold on to your hats, cuz it was! It was my mom who suddenly flipped out, and put up her emotional brick wall yet again, so when my dad tried talking about something that he needed to know about, because of the fact he got upset about the blood, she got huffy, and took it as a threat, so now she's refusing to talk to him, and he's getting pissy yet again. I'm going to spare the gory details, but basically my parents lost their voices from screaming so much. Thinks get going and going, and mom's yelling at me for no reason. I mean, she comes out, face all puffy and tears and nose are running, so I bring her a box of tissues and I'm standing there with them cuz she's obviously going to need more than one. But after she takes her second one, she turns to me and SCREAMS "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!!!!" I mean, really... did I deserve that?

So I'm crying my heart out, and my brother's the only thing keeping me calm enough to think logically. He's basically doing everything for me now, and hugging me. I swear... I don't know what I'd do without that boy sometimes.

But, yeah. Thinks have calmed down now. Dad went to work, mom cried herself to sleep, so it's just me and my brother. So I bought us pizza and it just got here so I'm going to eat and calm down more. So for those of you who actually read this even though I said not to, I want to say thank you, and you don't have to comment, really. Again, just typing it out helps, and you don't need to comment. And if you do want to, please don't say "oh I'm so sorry" or "I wish I could help." Those kinds of comments just make it worse. And don't go about how I need to move out and whatever, cuz I've been down that road so many, many times and I have things to do before I can even think about it.

So, thanks again for caring.