- Posted
- Oct 6th 2009
- Mood
- Miserable
Venting:
Yesterday, I was diagnsosed with Hashimoto's thyroid disease. My own body is destroying my thyroid gland and the (still minor) swelling will never go away, nor will my hormone levels ever stop going haywire. I have a good endocrinologist who gives me medicine and ultrasounds and tested me for cancer...(it was negative, btw) Still, it's a bummer to hear. I will never be normal. So, uh, boo hoo.
*****************************************
Now, onto the journal subject.
I worry that my characters and stories are worthless to other people and that they'll never be published or loved or looked at, and that makes me mad as hell. I keep working hard for some unknown reason...but I don't get enough encouragement to suit me, so I constantly run out of steam.
There's no reason to do it just for me. I want other people to care. I want my designs to be seen. I want my personalities to be talked about, considered, liked or disliked. I'm trying to build an entire world here; trying to build characters that resonate with other people; abilities that catch interest; and of course, I want my artwork to be pretty and my prose to inspire, intrigue, whatever the word is...
All I hear in my art class is "you shouldn't try to do that because it's just not your place". Whose place is it?
I say it's that person who doesn't listen to everyone else's BS and goes on to make the stuff anyway! I want to follow my passions...but I don't want to do it alone. I don't want to produce work that only I like. I work hard, I learn things, I test my skill... When will it be enough to turn heads? When will I be allowed to take a breather?
I love my characters. To death. Each one is carefully built from a piece of me. It is not a selfish thing for me to want other people to like them too. What WOULD be selfish is me asking other people to worship them when they looked terrible, had crappy backstories, awful personalities, and no story to exist in. I don't know if I just haven't shown enough of them or if they really don't look that appealing, because I do not believe I am asking someone to like an empty, lifeless husk.
Bottom line, I feel like they are unloved. I want that to change, but I don't know HOW to change it... My NaNo ended yesterday. I got just over 10,000 words, failing the challenge miserably. It wasn't so bad, though--that's 10,000 words I never would have gotten if not for challenging myself. The next one I do will have an aim of around 25,000 words for the whole file; I think I can reach that one.
But then again, if it's just me and Rasmot reading what I write...
Well, I don't know if I really wanted responses here when I started the journal... I guess if you read and you feel something you want to say, by all means, say it. Feedback is what I crave, after all.
AwesomeGirl86 Says:
Sorry about the diagnosis. :(
That most be very hard for you.
But going back to your other subject. Yeah, who wouldn't want their characters & stuff noticed?
When I came here, I wanted to have an art gallery where, not only people here from SheezyArt could see it, but for other people like companies or professionals or anybody else would notice my artwork.
For whoever said, "you shouldn't try to do that because it's just not your place." , is crazy. I mean, seriously, what's wrong with doing something different? So, despite on whoever said that, ignore them & just continue on what you do best & try new things as well.
Anyways, I too, would try to do other styles or make something different. Just so I can have a variety in my artwork.
I'm not a BIG fan of anime stuff, but I'm starting to like them & curious enough to find out more about them. Especially learning how to draw Manga. That's a style I'm trying out. But of course, I don't watch all anime, b/c some of the anime cartoons contain inappropriate stuff.
Anywho, have you submitted art in any clubs here at SheezyArt? That's one way of getting your art notice. You could also try getting another account on another art website & still have your SheezyArt account. But you don't have to do that if you don't want to.
As for trying new things, yeah, go for it! Try new things.
And don't give up, even when it seems like you feel like giving up, don't give up. And try not to stress out about it. It takes time for people to notice you & your artwork.
The first time I discovered you was through a tutorial. I was browsing around on SheezyArt on how to draw the body. Something like that. Anyways, than I came across your tutorial & of course I checked it out & found it very useful & helpful.
And of course you the rest is history.
Sorry, I talk too much. But yeah, like I said don't give up or give in to any negative comments.
Rosencruez Says:
Honestly, I don't know how to get love for your characters. If I did, I wouldn't be in the same boat as you. It's hard to turn heads, especially on the Internet. My advice, if it can even be called that, is do something that will separate you from the herd.
BracingHope Says:
i know how you feel. only a couple people read my short story when i posted it. i ended up taking it down. but if it makes you feel better, i havn't deleted your story from my updates. i do intend to read it. maybe i'll print it out and read it on the bus tomorrow morning.
also, i'm really sorry to hear about the diagnosis! i hope it doesn't cause too much trouble for you in the future.
Feadraug Says:
I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I was hoping for the best, but... :( Really, I'm sorry to hear that.
Now on with the other subject...
It's a usual worry for all of use. We all want our characters to be noticed, to be something. Some will get some recognizement, but others will just pass away and no one will cry for them. Unfortunatelly, that's how world goes around.
It is specially sad when a character you put a lot of effort in turns to be unpopular or simply ignored. The thing is that even in the darkest hours, you have to gain courage even from nowhere and try to see what's wrong and fix it. I know, it's easier to say it than to do it, but it really helps. It helps a lot.
There's always the fact that you have to like what you do, but you also have to work in other to make the characters, the world and the stories something that others will talk about. But, and I speak from my own experience, that's a very hard and long path to walk, but it's the only one if you want to have your works to be known by others.
Speaking of liking what you do, you show lots of love for your characters, not many people actually show their feelings towards them. And it isn't selfish to say that you'd like people to like them, because you've worked hard on them. And you aren't forcing others to like them either, you're just expressing your concerns.
Getting your chars known is a natural and continous process and while you work on your chars, you'll get the courage to keep it up and for some reason or another, public will notice them. And like or dislike them, but they'll talk about them.
I've been through those situations before, until I got some people saying that they liked some characters (two or three of them... maybe four... but it's a start).
I'm afraid that's how it works, if there was a magic formula for gaining recognizement faster, I'd be glad to share it with you. But I'm stuck with the same as you, sorry...
Let me quote a part of your text...
All I hear in my art class is "you shouldn't try to do that because it's just not your place".
People can tell you things, but the final choices are yours. If someone thinks it's not your place but you decide to go on, go for it. If you want to prove that person wrong, the best you can do is not giving up and going for your dreams and passions.
So to sum up: keep going. It might look dark now, but don't despair, don't give up. The path is long and hard, but in the end your effort is worth going through it. I'm sure you'll get what you deserve, just keep going.