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xxgatxx: Now ending discreetly

  xxgatxx: Now ending discreetly
Posted
May 1st 2008
Mood
Depressed
Music
AFI - of greetings and goodbyes
Queen of Denial
Queen of Denial
Queen of Denial

In between again. The days are getting longer towards the summer and the sun makes me shut myself inside the house. Anyhow it's just an excuse for staying in my room.
I hate the days. I hate the nights. I hate the time and how it slips between my fingers. I still haven't learnt how to accept, and it's hard for me to understand how I've learnt to love. I guess I'm asking too much again, thinking too fast and I cannot keep up with the pace though I'm running. And how in the world do I stop myself from thinking and keep my mind unoccupied? Nothing compares to you, nothing compares to your touch, no moment and no time. The supremacy feeling for a change. The fake emotion and delusion that for once in my life I am right. I learnt and became wiser, yet I'm still a fool.
And it's not you, it's me, it's the same old cliche and self conflicts. The shallowness about everything exposed to the eye and your sweetened bitter and all those things they'll never know or understand, if they even try. And it's not like your trying to understand, it's not like you even know, you're just an extra in my scene. Our big show, movie, book, whatever you want to call it. For me it's a show because none of the audience comes back home with me. But I'm not one to decide. It almost sounds like there is someone to decide, like I agreed with it.
There are some not to be spoken, and some not to ask for their welfare, and I didn't want to touch all those sins again but they made me and threw me to the floor. And as a last wish, I want you to teach me how to cry.

Go kill the lights
We'll glow 'till morning comes
I'll say good night
And bow to everyone
Then we go under

AFI - OF GREETINGS AND GOODBYES


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