Posted

Feb 27th 2008

Mood

Unhappy

Music

K's Choice - hide

Sometimes at late nights I pray, when no one looks but my God of the day or moment. I pray when I'm alone and get lonely. Maybe just out of habit, maybe just to let go. I pray only with eyes open waiting for a sign from the sky. Why do we believe that a certain God lies in the sky? Prehaps because the sky's everywhere, a show off of control. Damned and sinful. I find control a must-have in our lives but our worst habit as well.

When I pray I wish to be made of paper, pure and white without a spot.
To write down all those unspoken words and cheap bad poetry with a black pen, or needle. But a red blood heart. Because my heart is not made of paper and I am alive and I do hurt after all. All you've done. And for nothing.
Paint the words that won't, cannot get out of my mouth and my head, in small perfect black lines with no spaces, covering my whole body. Pushing harder on it to get to the bones.
Paper skin to rip it when needed, cut it and throw away to burn in the flames of hatred; Only to reveal fresh and pure paper white skin without a spot of ink. To hurt so bad and smile. To be destroyed over and over again by the rain, and erased by tear marks.
And until my single wish is fulfilled, I'll pretend to be. With black ink, cut skin, erasing my cries while being shattered by the rain.
Until I have my paper skin...

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