Posted

Feb 25th 2008

Mood

Confused

*hmm... a decision to make..*

As some of you should know by now, my sister is moving out to almost literally the middle of nowhere (its a small town about 30 miles out of salem. Im not sure the name of it) This town only has 1,500 people in it. xD Theres no fast food there.. o.O And not even a motel (my sister has to stay in one for about 4 days until her house is ready to move into, because russell starts work out there on the 3rd, and their house isnt ready until the 7th xD

Anyhow, to the point. My sister and Russell keep practically begging me to move out there with them, as sort of a 'live in babysitter' Russells new job is extremely high paying, so they would have the money to pay me like they say (but whether or not they actually DO is another story) I would get to live there for free (obviously) and then get paid to babysit whenever they need me to. I have a laptop, and a cell phone already. So all I would really need to pay for myself would be: internet service if I wanted it, and personal stuff, like food, ect. I'm really unsure about it though. It sounds easy and all, but it could easily turn into hell. xD My concerns would be, will they actually pay me (considering I would still have to pay my phone bill, buy food, and pay for internet if I wanted it, which I probably would so I could still stay in contact with everyone, and keep uploading my art Not to mention keep bedding in stock for the rats, along with food, since I would probably only get the chance to get to a real store only once every week or so) I was thinking for a while, that I could move up there with them, and get a part time job somewhere, since kaden should only be part time. That would give me a chance to try living away from my parents again, and I would have to be reliant on myself rather then my parents. My last time moving away from home was clear on the other side of the planet (literally) and well... it only lasted 2 months. Thats was TOO much of a change for me. This one at least, would only be a short ways away. And if I got homesick, I could always just come back and visit. Australia I couldn't do that. xD If it gets too hard, well... I still have my parents here to fall back on. I'm also concerned that it would turn into Kaden being dumped on me AAAALLLLLLL the time, and me having no personal time at all. ever. Thats not what I want either.
But then on the other hand, I can stay here and continue to live at home, with freedom once again, to not have to babysit anymore (until my brothers kid is born anyway x.x) And have my old room back. But with that, I'll also still be sitting here day in and day out doing nothing with my life, and completely relying on my parents for everything. Yeah sure, moving with my sister I'll still be living with someone, but It'll be different in the way that I was hired to go live with them, and I'll be completly responsible for my own bills and food and animals and everything else.
It's a tough decision. I might absolutely hate doing it, but you never know, and I might like it. If I do hate it, I always have the option of coming back home. xD My parents aren't going to refuse me back if I ask. ^___^
I kind of want to do it, even though I hate babysitting all the time. xD Just for the fact I'll be given a chance again to be out away from my parents and responsible for myself. I was once... for 2 months. lol. I might have been able to stick it out if I wasn't so far away from home, friends, and family. I was a completely different person when I came back from there. Literally. I was really talkative, I had to be on my own anyway didn't I? I didn't have someone to do the talking for me. xD I refused to buy anything unless I was able to pay for it with my own earned money. If someone DID buy it for me, I always HAD to pay them back within 24 hours, whether they wanted me to or not. I constantly cleaned up the dishes and house without a fuss, or without anyone ever asking me. Now days I don't like doing anything if it involves work, I never have my own real money. I take money from my parents and spend it, never paying them back. Cleaning sucks, I hate doing it. I've completely turned back into the person I was BEFORE I was on my own. That was the whole reason I left the first time. I hated being like that and didn't want to be anymore. I moved away so I could take responsibility for myself, and I learned alot more then I thought I would. I learned from it, and acted on it.... for a short time anyway. Then I slowly turned back into the old lazy, selfish, irresponsible me I'm thinking I should try it.. if even for just a short time. Even if I have very little money, I'll survive. It could be good for me. xD But.. like I said before, I'm still very unsure about it all.. I'll still have to go there and check out the living conditions and stuff first. The place my sister wants me to stay in may be extremely scary. I have no idea. Even she hasn't seen it yet o____O