- Posted
- Jan 3rd 2008
- Mood
- Worthless
- Music
- In the End- Linkin Park
When you lose someone it hurts inside more then you ever know... with death you can say, "they went to a better place" but with break ups or good byes you never know if there is a better place.
I strive to make it for you... that better place... I will forever strive for you.
It came to a point that she got tired of him... he cried... suffering is the worst kind of pain. Watching is unbearable, not having anything to patch it is worse.... Feeling it's all your fault... hard to understand.
(I don't understand... I tried my best... why? what did I do wrong?)
"No nothing! You did nothing wrong my love... I'm here for you. Just cry on my shoulder I'll hold you for as long as you like. Please understand this is the way of life."
*song: no one's gonna harm you not while I'm around*
I couldn't do anything... I couldn't.... how can I protect you love when I have no control. Will you forgive me my blonde haired blue eyed doll? Could you ever forgive me.... It's all my fault for your pain....
(No it's my fault for actually believing that anyone could ever love me...)
"No don't say that hunny. It's not true... She just wasn't the one... She's young... she...just wants something different. Please understand that there will be someone especially for you... someone who will love you and care and do anything for you as you do for them..."
(what does she want... I'll give it... I'll change...)
"NO DON'T CHANGE ANYMORE!!... Don't.... you've done enough..... you're wonderful as you are... you always bring a smile to my face and you're like a son to me... you're wonderful... you're you."
(then... how...why...)
"....I... don't know....."
Why can't I help him... I love him so much... he loved her...but she was empty... this reminds me of such pain I know too well... but this one doesn't have a happy ending... this one will linger... this one will scar...
(...I'm sorry I wasted so much of your guys money just so I can see her... I didn't know it would-)
"NO.... no love... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I got you into this... I'm sorry I gave you false hope... I'm sorry that I was so stupid... I'm...so....worthless"
all I can do is cry... all I can do is shed the same tears as you...all I can do is hold you and comfort you the best I can... all I can do... is be here... I'll be here for you.
*silent sobs for hours... the sound of a painful heartbeat*
(....thank you...)
...forever love...I'll be here.
I shed my tears for hours on end... the repetitive thought of "it's all your fault" echoing in my mind... I feel so worthless... I love both so much yet only one wants me here... begging for arms to embrace them... I love them both so much but one says that their year sucks.... and it's not the one falling apart in my arms... it's the one I try to make happy, it's the one who says they're so lonely and nothing goes their way... how can that be?... from guilt maybe? I don't know.... but how is it that they believe that their pain is much greater then those who sacrifice and those who would die for them?
*whisper: you're pushed aside once again...*
Yes, I noticed my efforts meant nothing...
*whisper: was it worth it? look at the pain you caused...*
I didn't... I just wanted them to be happy... I just thought... it would make them happy...
*whisper: You're a fucking fool... why should you waste so much of your time for those who don't notice them?*
no... I ... I love them... I just want to try to give... my all... I just want to try...
*whisper: you tried... you failed... now there's nothing but darkness, sadness, and cold tears... This is all because you thought you could bring "happiness" congratulations... you fucked up two peoples new year. What a great way then to start it with bloody tears... they're going to hate you.*
*ever flowing tears* then... that's what I'll give them for the year... someone to blame... someone to hate... I want them to hate me... so that their year will be better... so I can feel like I'm useful...somehow
*goes off into linkin park song*
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried
so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
Please hate me for all of your guys pain...
Lordess Todokahime Says:
sanchu, this is too sad coming from you. what happened.
yumi56 Says:
that's sadT.Ti hope ur not like this for a long timeT_T