Posted

Nov 28th 2007

Mood

Apologetic

I know when I have to admit something, and to admit that I do things wrong, to discern good from bad indeed is a hard task and we all know it; I only say sorry to my bad part of my conscious after I realize I do things wrong and you both have to apologize for having pulled me away "until further notice" instead of trying to talk me out of it with a scold or another message. So don't expect me to beg for apologies, it's only up to time to tell how will we react that will determine whether I can be forgiven or not.

Alas, my lack of sleep for the past days -which I finally managed to correct- made me turn more depressive and sort of hopeless, not to mention turned me into an immature jerk, and I know when I'm told in my face "You idiot shouldn't of done that", so last night I was invited to yet another chat, and I, having already known the attitude of one of them was depressive for one part of the day and knowing I wouldn't just get the common answer like I want things to go like... I risked a quite long relationship with two of the people I consider most valuable.

And you know why is that? Because I've let my anger take control of me, and it's nothing but JEALOUSY; If I would of thought more, I could of remembered ALL the times I got told I was like the best friend just how I was like and all the happy moments we've all had together, what I did instead was to stay behind and blame the other when I could of done something smarter and kept being myself as an intelligent way of "fighting over things".

So I guess I DID do things wrong, and all I did was to follow my overreacting which has been my one defect ever since always, THAT'S what I really have to apologize for, a real man knows when to accept a loss.