- Posted
- Nov 26th 2007
- Mood
- Lonely
The morning starts after recovering from a rather depressive yesterday in which all I did was to keep playing my game as a way to distract my tears from falling. I had checked this thing, a test that was shockingly accurate and all, I had wished the weekend would end happy... and all of them did except for me, I don't get what goes on and it felt like I gave my happiness away so others would have it, I've turned more sensitive recently and I'm actually feeling hurt more often than to just go ahead and be careless and optimistic about it.
I don't know either... why does it stress me so much to be around the two people I mostly like to be with around my online stance, when I'm with one my words don't come out and I just say nonsense, and when I talk to another it's just him asking for the other friend or feeling bad about something he did before... and when I talk to both, they both are happy, because I DO know they have something going on... but to see it makes me want to do so many wrong things.
It's just that I have to admit, I may be considered great, but I really, really dislike the fact I have to see them with such affection between them, I hate watching her give flirts to him and then bothering me about it, and most of the times we three chat it ends up being a topic that insults me in a way for their laugher. And what's worse I have to stay shut and act serious but no, I wanted to tell them I felt so bad because I felt I was being mistreated... but I expected them not to care, like if they ever considered me helpful once.
Meh, I don't know what's happening to me anymore.
Elephant Says:
It's a time of change, and most of us seem to be embracing it. However, one of your friends might be trying to remain with the past, continuing old routines for the same old reactions...
Just to let you know, I'm sorry about bothering you with my problems, and you're completely unaware of how things are like when you're not around. She often wonders where you are, and sometimes becomes depressed over things, but you make everything better just by showing up every day.
We have something called a friendship, and you're a part of the circle of it. Please don't think so awfully of it, and join us more.
Also, don't assume it's right, because you might only be thinking so because it's all that you've seen. I don't believe it, and things will change in time. It's hard to take it more than once without trying to change it in your favor, but you'll find that if you do, things will change.
Hope to talk to you later.