- Posted
- Dec 25th 2004
- Mood
- Blank
- Music
- HPLHS - Carol of the Old Ones
Well, my hit-counter creeps onwards towards 500, for what that's worth. Obviously it's no real indicator of my value as an artist, but it's nice to know people are checking out my stuff (and it's even nicer to get comments, so leave me comments). Yeah.
However, inspecting the journals of a few people whose names I've heard around the place has revealed to me a cunning tactic for garnering mega-hits in a very short space of time. My studies indicate that the most sure-fire way to get a bazillion gajillion hits involves a two-step plan.
Step 1: Regularly post good art to my gallery, stuff that'll have people coming back to see my marvellous artistic stylings. If it's porn the effect is doubled, particularly whacko crazy porn for the people who just can't get off from the plain vanilla stuff.
Step 2: After building up a following of adoring fans who regularly visit my gallery to get their scheduled dose of art, post something that'll get me banned - borderline child-porn, bestiality, whatever - and then when I inevitably get banned,
kick up a fucking huge stink about it.
Employing the usual internet drama-whore tactics - accusing the admins of violating my right to free speech, disputing that the banworthy material was in fact grounds for a ban, claiming that the only reason people don't like it is because they don't appreciate my artistic genius - will guarantee that I will soon garner a little following of people convinced that I am the poor oppressed victim of the admins' tyrannical regime. If I've properly followed Step 1, this effect is multiplied immensely as the porn fans find themselves deprived of one of their regular sources of smut, and get involved in flamewars with those who think the stuff I posted was an abomination in the sight of God. Pretty soon the site forums will be in uproar. Foolproof. n_n
Of course, this tactic means I need to sacrifice any pretense of dignity, integrity or maturity for the sake of attention on an online gallery's forums, but for the quantity of hits involved it's worth it. Right?
Acubavix Says:
I love your ideas for getting page views. It'll work.
ElectricSpyke Says:
aww, you think im an adoring fan
mmacrae Says:
You're already halfway there: your art's fantastic. To complete your fiendish plan, you've only to submit questionable art and throw the requisite hissy-fit when challenged. Of course, I won't complain if you delay step 2 indefinitely.
As an aside, I wonder whether you've heard of "The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets." It's a Canadian band specializing in Lovecraft-inspired rock. If you're a fan, it may be worth a look.
iconoclast Says:
GOOD LUCK, SOLDYUH
BrokenWing Says:
Hot damn! Winning strategy if I've ever heard one! But in all honesty, you only need to do step 1 and wait for a bit in order to garner quite a bit of following. Step 2 is unnecessary, and may only gather a few other fans that weren't aware of your existence before. Another step that might be missing is to do a bunch of porn trades with more infamous porn artists, thereby attracting new audiences!
jcterminal Says:
this will work. you'll probably lose the smart ones pretty quickly, but oh well, it's the hits that count right?
Nikolaj Says:
HEY, it was not a flamewar!
If it looked like I was angry I apologize. I was curious about how you tought about it!
Sorry if I offended you, and thanks for the replies you gave anyway.
PLUS: Merry Christmas!
millerjsullivan Says:
I saw that happen once, years ago, back when it was a new and original occurance, I guess.
weja Says:
plzno ravenpronz j 3j