Posted

Jul 1st 2007

Mood

Lonely

Music

"Fred Jones Pt. II"

Spent most of today cleaning the house in order to pay for Tanya's plane ticket (she's coming down again in August).
Nose is murdering me and the dust has caused my throat to burn/itch terribly.
Eyes also sting but I think that's a mixture of the dust and being tired.
I've never seen so much dust in one house before, even though my mom cleans regularly, so odd.

My aunt flies in from NYC tonight for a random visit.
She's a busy woman and so her visits never last more than a weekend, this case is no exception, she'll be leaving on Monday or Tuesday.

I finished reading a short Stephen King story to Tanya over the phone this morning/early afternoon.
She seemed to like it but it scared her a little.
1408 is what it was, yes the same short story the new thriller flick is based after.
Can't say I'd recommend the story over the book (amazing, huh?).
Was fun reading to her but I stink at reading aloud so I sound like a stuttering baboon half the time.
Least she enjoyed it, that's what counts.

Still the feelings loom over me; uselessness, loneliness, unneeded, un-welcomed, unwanted...an immune to my presence and a lack of needing it anymore.
Not just with her but with everybody.
Seems like nobody needs/wants me around right now.
Like the only time anybody wants me around is when they're bored and there's no one else to talk to.
I'm back-up...
It's like when people don't have any friends available, any old friends to look up, any chores to do, any video games to play, any television to watch, any drugs to do, any parties to attend, any Budweiser's to drink, any type of work to get done...I'm their absolute last bet.
....or when they need help or are sad...forgot that part.

You cried wolf...
The tears they soaked your fur...
The blood dripped from your fangs
You said; "What have I done...?"
You loved that lamb..
With every sinful bone..
And there you wept alone..
Your heart is so contrite...
You said; "Jesus please forgive me of my crimes"
Sanctify this withered heart of mine...
Stay with me until my life is through...
And on that day please take me home...
..with you

I might just take a shower and crawl into bed, eyes are starting to give in.
Didn't think cleaning an entire house would be very tiring but it is and I now have much more respect for house cleaners ::

A warm shower after any type of labor, does that not sound like heaven?

I'm not needed today, that plan sounds best.

But maybe some WoW first...haven't played in a couple of days

"And I'm sorry Mr. Jones..
Yeah I'm sorry Mr Jones..
It's..time..."

P.S - To you SheezyArtsians...I'm sorry that I've been so horrible at responding to you lately.
I'll attempt to get back on track (*nudges angel of death*)