Posted

Jun 7th 2007

Now, I'd like to think I am a rather good sport when it comes to school and dealing with annoying peoples, but when it gets in the way of ART... Then I get pissed off.

Next week is finals week for me at AI, my clay project is complete, I have to turn in a no outline for a persuasive speech for speech class (as well as making up for missed speeches, but I don't think I'll do that...) and of course... Acting class.

For our final presentation we were given a very vague "You can use the Wizard of Oz as a backdrop, but other than that you have free reign!"

Unlimited potential! This is our time to shine! Our time to go all out! Go out with a boom!

As soon as the teacher said that, ideas started racing through my mind..! It was a free for all of ideas!

I immediatly thought of The Scarecrow from Batman, which led me to "asylum."

Would'nt it be an interesting tale if the Wizard of Oz took place within the condfines of an insane asylum? Each quirky character with its own insecurities and mental handicap!

Here is the general idea of my asylum of Oz, a pitch if you will:

Miss Dorothy, an aspiring intern, is studying psychology and how the human mind works. With the help of a friend, Dr. West, she manages to get a study trip to (Insert non-copyrighted name here) Asylum for the criminally insane to see the most deranged and twisted minds the city of Kansas could provide.

The tour guide would be world-renound Proffesor Crane (That'd be me, hyack hyack!). He would show Miss Dorothy "The Tin-man", a man who enjoys mutilation and piercing his skin with rusted pieces of metal. He claims he has no heart and goes around busting innocent bystander's ribcages in order to find a perfect heart for himself.

Another specimen is "The lion", a quiet, timid man who suffers from all sorts of mental disorders. Multiple personality and depression brought upon from self-doubt being the most prominent ones. He is very unstable and anything will set him off, one wrong look and he will turn into "the lion", in order to make up for his cowardly nature, he created a courageous animal man that tears people limb from limb.

Of course, he only got to two victims, his wife and little boy.

By this time, Dorothy is starting to feel uneasy and starts to notice that the man providing the tour seems to be in some sort of power trip, keeping all the inmates as if they were playthings.

Miss Dorothy decides to leave and wants to go thank Dr. West, who she finds is dead, squished under her large file cabinet, the only thing left of her were her blood-splattered shoes.

Dorothy panics and starts to run out. The lights go off and the inmates are set free.

Now its up to Dorothy to survive each of (the 3!) inmates by psychoanalyzing each one and "turning" them to her side in order to make them help her escape.

Dorothy persuades the lion and the tinman to join her, but is confronted by "The Scarecrow" who is so bent in proving his mental superiority that he creates an all-knowing, yet bumbling persona, out to stop Dorothy from stealing his thunder!

Soooooooooooo... The scarecroe dies or joins her or whatever, lets say he dies, that's better I think.

Dorothy and the two other guys explore the deepest rooms of the asylum and find the person responsible for it all.

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This is kinda where I stopped, it was a working proggress and I wanted to get feed-back from my group.

I also had a space-age idea, where the tinman (a space robot) goes berserk and tries to attack a man-made man, a cyborn type thing, if you will (scarecrow). He could be the president or whatever.

Its up to hot space babe, Dorothy and her half animal, half man friend to stop this terrorist attack!

As you can see, the asylum one was more thought-out.

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I pitced my idea to my group as did everyone else.

My group put on their list some of the following:

Asylum
Cops
Reno: 911
Matrix
Jerry Springer

... Now... Guess which one we are going to do?

Yuuuuuuuuuuup.

Jerry Springer.

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It'll be the Tinman show. Now Dorothy is a lesbian hooker who is cheating on her dim-witted husband (scarecrow, who is none other than I), with a meek, drunken man (lion).

She also stole her red hooker shoes from the witch of the west (who is schizo) who is also the good witch... Who is her secret lesbian lover.

The grand wizard of Oz (a refference to the KKK) is Dorothy's father who dissaproves of all the men, women, lions and monkeys Dorothy has slept with since they are not of the same race.

The Tinman, a heartless, steely man has no knowledge of human emotions and asks rather irrevelant questions.

In the end, once Dorothy tells everyone her secret, her dull husband will reveal that he has been sleeping with the lion.

Lalala, the end.

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Its so easy to make a talk show out of anything. I had such visions! Such... Potential! We could have done anything we wanted..!

Curse you, white trash America for keeping shows like Jerry Springer on the air, thus hindering me from achieving my acting potential!

I'm all for a challange, but when its something this crude...

Now... Ill be a good sport about it. Ill pretend Im an ignorant hooker sleeper-with-er and Ill pretend I am also sleeping with a lion, but I wont like it!

... Wont even get the chance to wear a scary scarecrow mask...

The fools! One day Ill show them! One day they'll all see..!

Mwahahahahaa! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!