Posted

Jun 24th 2006

Mood

Ashamed

My hope is that people will read this.

I have been completely absent from SA for a long long time. A lot of different things jumped into my life, and SA had been completely pushed out of the picture. Commissions, job offers, my web comic The Zombie Hunters, life is a big one, and DA.
I have a lot more things going on with DA, DA actually takes up a lot of my internet time, all my friends are there, that's where most of my work and publicity comes from, and everyday I have a lot of messages to go though, and I always try my best to get that all done, and not fall behind.
I have been with DA since I was like, awe heck, 16? So it was just really hard for me to develop strong ties with people here, and become at ease and familiar with my surroundings, if you want to put it that way, if you want to look that deep into it. I was never really good at making 'online' friends, and recently I prefer not to make any I have to admit. A lot a lot of trust has to be built up between myself and another person for me to even consider them a friend. I thought if I became a moderator here the shyness would go away, and I would develop stronger ties. but that actually made it worse, I was afraid to go through with my moderator duties, and participate with a group of people I didn't even know, it seems that my online shyness increased with age. I was way too shy to ask for help or join in for fear that I was being a burden and a bother, a weak link in the group dynamic *shrugs* so instead of working it out or telling someone, I decided to shut everyone out all together and disappear from SA for a long, long time and put my time into other places. It sounds rather seedy, but it's the truth. And I felt that everyone should know.

This is not me saying that no one made me feel welcome here, I am basically saying that I didn't put fourth the effort to be, I was very apathetic. No one here miss-treated me, and every moderator here is a very, very nice individual.

So I am going to withdraw from SA, I won't be updating any-longer, I may or may not delete my gallery, I have yet to decide, but you'll know once I have decided. My apologies go out to all the admins, moderators and my watchers for my absence.

You guys all keep safe and take care!

Ashwings
Jenny Romanchuk


P.S. If you really want to know where my internet homes are:
-My DeviantART
-My Live Journal
-My Webcomic