Posted

Feb 14th 2006

Mood

Lost

I feel lost. I'm on the phone right as i type right now. She told me she just wants to be friends, I'm almost sure we'll never again have a relationship again. Its okay were still going to prom as friends, and she says shes gunna really try to make an effort stay single untill then. I'm not sure weather to really try and move on or just stay were I am so I don't get completely involved wit another girl and don't pay attention to her or move on and get to know other women. She keeps talking about things that don't really matter but I'm still listening because I love hearing her voice. Its funny, I'd rather listen to her babble on then listen to my favorite song. I guess I'm writting just to say all the things I should cherish about her and still enjoy even though I lost the privilege to kiss her and hold her like shes mine. Now shes open, you know what really pisses me off? Shes looking finer and finer because shes losing weight and shes becoming the "hot cheerleader" type. It pisses me off because more and more guys are noticing her because shes hot, when I've loved her for how long... lets see *thinks* 8 years. 8 years I've loved her. each time I've asked her out and each time shes broken up with me. I'm just kinda thinking out loud right now.

You know I dont really remember all what happened when we were little, to me It was the longest relationship and best one I've had in my life. When I was 9 years old. jeeze, wow I musta been a pimp back then. lol.

So whats next for me? I really don't know there are a couple girls that I think are cute, but to me Haley was the perfect girl. She looked amazing, was amazing in bed (no joke lol) and was an amazing fun and careing person. There was only one other person who compared and her name was katie. shes a complete bitch though but she was a knockout like haley. and I fell hard for her.