Posted

Feb 4th 2006

Mood

Gloomy

Music

Dr. Livingstone ~ Crowded House

So I'm gonna have a contest. I already know what it's gonna be...but I need to work out the kinks so it's a secret until then : / 8 people said they'd definetely enter, and 15 said they might so that's more than enough entry possibility for me. And to that one person who voted 'No, I hate you' I just wanted to say I love you too. No not you. U2. I've always wanted to use that pun...Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity. I appreciate that. Anyway, I'll let ya'll know about it later.

In other news, Portia's probably gonna be put down. We have her on some meds, but they're useless unless she has fluids and she refuses to drink. She won't eat dog food anymore so we've been forced to give her other stuff like bread and cheese and roast beef which probably hasn't helped. She can't get up long enough to get outside to go to the bathroom anymore so she's peed all over the carpet. The vet says it's possible that she had a stroke which is why this all happened and thus the medicine will do nothing. We could put her in the hospital...but we're barely above the poverty line. How the hell can we afford a dog hospital? I hate to say we're giving up, but what other choice do we have? I think she's given up too which makes it even worse. Yeah...My dad's willing to take her to the humane society or wherever to have it done since he had to do it with his own dog yesterday. The adorable yet insane little dachsund? Yup, he's gone. I'm just a bundle of good news today, aren't I? What I hate though is that my mother won't make the decision. I can tell she wants to just get it over with, but she wants me to decide. So it's gonna be me who issues the death warrant. If she just said 'Okay we're putting her down', I'd be okay with it. But she won't so I have to. And I can't say that. I don't want to be the adult anymore. I want to be the frikkin teenager like I'm supposed to be. I can't be responsible for Portia's death. I won't be. I love that dog as much as she does. And I have to be the one to kill her....I'll say it again: Fuck you karma.

Right...Gonna try to be positive again now...I don't like ending journals on a bad note. It's too cliche. I hate being cliche. Umm...what do I have to say that's positive? I think I did pretty well on my physics test today. Though I could be wrong. You never know with those tests...And my German one went alright I think. Not like it matters anyway. Unless I just stop working altogether, there's no way I can not get an A in that class x.x I have a lot of art to do...one trade, one prize, the Ophidian elements for Keno and a character sheet for [blank] ....I dunno if the name's still secret o.o What ever...I dunno if I'm gonna be in the mood to do any of it. I'll try. But I'm gonna be gone most of tommorrow and probably Sunday...and I'm really just not in the mood Sorry....

So much for ending positively eh? x.x The third leg of the Vertigo tour starts in 9 days? That's...kind of positive? Not for me, I can't go to south america or australia or japan but...hey, what ever