Posted

May 26th 2005

Mood

Angry

Music

Final Fantasy VII - One Winged Angel (Orchestrated)

For the past month, I've fallen prey to the stupid shit I had to put up with back when I was in middle school, roughly three to six years ago, courtesy of two little chicken shit freshmen. I've tried the quiet ways of dealing with it, ignoring my tormentors, avoiding all visual contact, snapping back with statements they can't understand, but nothing thus far has worked. I'm still being mocked, harassed, and insulted, and I'm not quite so accustomed to such things coming at me incessantly for entire half hour to forty-five minutes at a time. Albeit I'm still used to the badgering, just not in such steady doses.

The past week, it seems to have escalated considerably, while at the same time, my temper has gotten much shorter. I find myself being nagged by violent urges, and have been increasingly angry at a constant, while their voices have become the obnoxious yapping of an ankle-biting dog, and their laughter like a cat being thrown into a meat grinder.

Today, I'm beginning to reach my limit of tolerance. I tried my brother's suggestion of insulting myself so they don't have anything to really pick at, but it was of no use. The one that sits closest to me on the bus is the one that jabs at me the most, and twice I kicked the back of her seat. By now, she can only pray I don't miss the seat and strike her head instead. As I was gathering my things to get off, she threw another idiotic crack at me, which resulted in my grabbing the topmost book on the stack I always carry and thwacking her with it, explaining shortly after just how close I am to kicking her dense little head in. Seeing as said book was paperback, I know it didn't do much, even if I did strike with its spine.

Within the next week, I may go insane and turn apeshit on them both, since I apparently am already on my way with my increasingly violent tendencies. I know I shouldn't be letting them bother me as much as I do, but with the end of the school year rolling around, I'm much more stressed, and my artistic nature makes me a little bit more sensitive than most people. Soon I'll be having little animations of myself beating the shit out of them floating around in my he-- wait, I already do. I'll shortly be carrying a hard, blunt object always in hand whenever I go to school, just for the sake of inflicting better damage.