|
|
Lie
Lie
Break my heart
Tear it apart
You told me that,
You would stand by my side
And hold me tight.
But I soon found out that,
That was all a lie.
You told me that you would wipe away all my tears
But now your the cause of all my fears.
I wish that if you have nothing to say
That you would just go away
Because everything you told me,
Was all a lie.
And now I lie awake and cry
Because all along
You were just a lie...
written on: 5/18/06
|
|
Comments
Kyumi Says:
Awwww awsome poem! I used to write poems like that but I never found the time to... I love your poem though. 8D Ya my poems were emo too...
Steve J Ma Says:
LOL EMO
HotSauce217 Says:
Theres alot of shitty poetry in the world , alot on SA , and this is definatly an exeption and a very well written emotive narrative. great work. kudos.
monicachaloupka Says:
your not emo you just write very true yet very dark and sad poems
d R A c LI tH Says:
This is a pretty ok poem but your writing style is distinctly emo. Key phrases in emo poetry are "break my heart" "tears" "lies" "lie awake and cry".

Try something maybe more cheerful or angry perhaps? I write emo-esque poetry, but they're not so emo that people hate them. They've got tinges of anger and even then people have said that my poems are "sad".
Try injecting anger into your poems instead of straight out angst and sadness. You can write dark and sad poetry even if they have an angry tone of voice. Read more of other writers poems (and not the ones on this site, as in real, published writers) and try to think of something interesting to write instead of the regular angsty poetry.
Good luck on your poetry~
-Draclith
TigerNina42 Says:
....-annoyed-....just because its a sad poem doesnt mean it EMO DAMMIT!!! OMGOSH!!! it might sound emo but that doesnt particulary mean that its "emo"....if any of yall people actually KNEW her you would kniw shes not near as close to being emo....shes like FAR BEYOND EMO!!! she one of those stupid, hyper, jumpy, people...but i think this poem is sad/good....some artists just have different feelings when they write or draw....i mean....seriously....i like sad things but that doesnt mean i'm emo....PEOPLE HONESTLY DONT KNOW THE MEANING OF EMO!!! WHY DONT YOU JUST SAY SOMOENE WHOS CRYING BECAUSE THEY LOST SOMEONE THEY CARED FOR EMO!!! THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE SINCE THERE SAD!!! ((i just made that up...but seriously...if you lost someone and decided to write a poem of how sad you were are you just going to call them emo...EVEN THOUGH they couldve been always happy the years before...)) but....NICE POEM AMAYA!!! i'll always stick up for ya....dont listen to the ones who think your emo....they dont know....everyone nowadays would call you emo for the stupidist reasons....
oh and one last thing....this poem is for one of her characters she made up....an anime character....BUT HER CHARACTER ISNT EMO EITHER!!! shes just had a lot of troubles in her life thats all....but thank you....now i'm leaving before i hurt someone....
paperclipqueen32 Says:
To quote
"....-annoyed-...." I think that you're getting a little too offended over comments that your poem is emo. Sure some people are rude but you have to ignore them. And then others are just trying to give constructive criticism.
took the time to write you a well thought out review, in proper English. It shows immaturity when a writer can't take criticism gracefully. Sorry to break it to you, but not everyone's going to interpret your writings the same way you do. That's life.
I'll admit that I'm no professional writer. If you go to my profile all you'll see are stupid little doodles that I post for friends. But I do know how to take criticism and complements. I hope that you learn that skill someday too.
Good luck in your writing. And don't be ashamed to be Emo once and a while, it happens to everyone.
Phaena Says:
Amazing! I can connect with this poem immensely. It's hard to have someone you trust through it back in your face. Lovely word usage.
yumeri29 Says:
Nice poem, its so sad and you are so great to express it out. nice one!
hope to see you smiling! 
maffiacat Says:
ya know you said before that emo is shortened for emotional then why are you so stuck on the whole emo concept.... see i'm not saying that i'm emo or something... i just try to get some feeling into my writings and stuff *stuff is also writings*.... you write well and if that has to be emo then let them call it emo ... if they call it like that they just don't know how to put their feelings into something.... and maybe a bit shinier than this will help it to be un-emonized *starts to polish your poems... sees the shimmering light into it* see!!!! *holds the poem right in your face so you have to look cross-eyed* Isn't it preeeeetty???