Retracing Steps
Drop of Red.
---
Our friendship started with a random instant message. On September 4th 2005, he IMed me. I had no idea who he was, or why he was IMing me.
The first thing he ever said to me was: "Toast is good"
He introduced himself as Monkey D. Luffy, and I introduced myself as "a straaaanger of the internet"
He told me "I can promise you, I'm not crazy for one, just an extremely bored guy and no I'm not your friend"
He had been browsing DA (something he didn't do much back then) and found me. He was extremely bored, so he decided to instant message me, because my screen name was listed.
"So who are you?" I asked
"Roronoa Zoro?"
"do you have a name?"
" Name is Weston"
"ahah. and how old are you, if I may ask?"
"16, will be 17 on July 24th"
"why me, of all people to randomly talk to?"
"-Shrugs- I liked your hair? lol"
We blabbered, and talked about movies.
"Mind if I ask your age? You don't have to tell, just want to even see if it was possible for you to see some of these movies"
"heck, you saw my DA page, didn't you? 15"
"Like I read all of it, I don't read profiles or anything.....it's boring. Just saw your hair and was like "She's cool....time to bug her""
"you bug people whom you think are cool, huh?"
"Not often.....once like every 10 months?"
God knows we never, ever, ever have thought we would be engaged today.
Especially since he wasn't single, and I -almost- wasn't single.
I thank my random luck every month for having him be bored enough that night to have decided to talk to me. My life would have been so different if he hadn't.
Some months went by after that.. He tells me now, he thought I found him weird, and didn't expect me to ever speak to him again.
I randomly talked to him, we added each other on myspace (horrible site but..), and we kept in touch from that day forward.
Things were going wrong in his life; especially in his relationship. I gained his very hard to earn trust, and he started telling me about everything. His life in all aspects.
I was supportive of his relationship, and although we were close, I had no feelings for him. For weeks and weeks I was who he told everything. I gave him advice, and was just there on hard nights. I even edited a letter he was writing to his gf's mother, whom seemed to hate him. Fight after fight after fight, it was nearly daily between him and his girlfriend. After I found out she was a compulsive liar, that she flirted around a lot and had cheated on him before, my support for them being together diminished. He was a sweet funny sarcastic guy, a guy who deserved a lot better than that.
One day I blew up on him, and we were both surprised. I yelled at him and threw a fit when he told me that he was going to remain friends with her just after he planned on breaking up with her. I found myself extremely frustrated, exclaiming 'WHY do nice guys like you always have to be taken by the lying, cheating, flirty b-tches!!! She doesn't deserve you!!' He tried to calm me to no success.
He was confused at why I was so upset. I wasn't sure why, besides the fact that I was furious that she would be able to take advantage of him over and over again.
Some time later, they broke up. I was glad, but not because I wanted him for myself. He was like my best friend, I wanted him to be happy. It hurt to see him crying daily and miserable when love is supposed to be happy. I told him that if there's more bad than good, it's not working.
He seemed sad but relieved, and I was glad as things started looking up.
That night, I asked if we could be best friends. "We talk every day, you can tell me anything and we're really close. It'd be awesome if we could call each other best friends" He said yes, and that was that.
His strength to leave what was bad for him inspired me to give up on the relationship I was trying to form with unrequited love. Left a message, said I was done, left. So, I was single, well, I was single before but now I wasn't caught up.
When I was going to bed, I had odd thoughts.
"I wonder..." I laughed at myself for what I was thinking. I wanted to try, but I knew, just knew he would say "maybe" just as every other boy had when I asked.
The next morning, I had to be up for school. It was December 5th, 2005. I woke at 6:02 AM, and he was awake because in South Carolina, his residence at the time, it was three hours later. He would usually wake up early so he could talk to me.
I hoped he was there.
He was indeed.
I went and got my breakfast... Waffles.
And then our conversation went like this (it goes me and then him):
"anyways, I was going to send you a note buut->__> <__<"
"Brb"
"this is going to be even more awkwaa-... okay"
"Eh, tell me anyway, brb still"
"well, this is going to be even more awkward then gushing
... 'I've been thinking'... 'wouldn't we make a good couple?' (told you it was weird) Maybe it's just me, but considering we just so happen to both have our hearts ripped out at the same time, both become single, had slight interest in each other and you happen to be likely moving to my city, don't you think it's plausible? We're so similar.. We're super close, you can trust me more than anyone... I was just thinking, it's so ironic.. I was so hoping for that one day where me and someone close meet for the first time in the airport, and for a day I can have fun around town and get a good laugh. And you happen to be doing just that.
/awkward "
"Back, my madre needed me, lemme read "
"says in your voice "AWKWARD!" "
"o__o"
"don't look at me that way -__- >__<; (arg stop typing so much!
)"
"Honestly...I've been thinking about something along those lines, ever since (ex gf) started changing and growing apart from me and ever since we've been getting closer I've been thinking about it too. You really are everything I'd like for a girl to be, like the way you think and act, your honesty, your friendship, you aren't immature, you care about other's feelings and want to help people. It is irony, or coincidence, or something...I'll admit over the past few weeks I've grown some feelings for you but of course I wasn't about to admit anything along those lines due to (ex gf) and (my infatuation). And again..honestly...I would like to try a relationship with you. My only worries are: 1) Would things change? 2) Would be just be rebound or fall backs from (my infatuation) and (ex gf)?"
"it just depends if we're better for each other, if we're everything they were and more"
"
Well...I know you won't lie to me and I trust you more than I could ever trust her, or anyone at that matter."
"hah"
"Do you believe me to be, in your eyes, better for you than (my infatuation)? (yeah, awkward indeed)"
"I think you are better for me. I'm not saying for sure we're awesome for each other, but I know you're better for me at least, because seriously, we have a lot more of a humor and a nice feeling between us. trust and all, and it's a nice thing to have"
" And, to go back to the subject at hand...I think you're better for me than (ex gf) ever was. Haha, you're really sweet too Tanya, very. You take good photography, I'll give you that hehe. You're very artistic, which I like a lot. -Nod- Heh...I was downstairs last night thinking about this. Was heating up soup (only food I've had in 24 hours, -dies-) and I was thinking about her and I got to thinking about this. Like we were dropped into place or something. I don't know how the whole "Decisions of Fate" thing works"
"what were you thinking exactly?"
" "I wish I would of met her before I met (ex gf), I'd be better off with someone like her" "We're both going through the same stuff and it's all turning out the same way, how bizarre" "That soup smells awful" "
"I just think, if I can be grooving and laughing to "kiss me deadly" with you and have interesting convos everyday and be really close, why not? we're both single now. we can help each other move on"
"Tanya...I really would like that, I don't see how it couldn't work, I'm sure we'd be great together, I don't believe things would change between us and I believe you when you say even if it doesn't work out we'd go back to being like this...heh, yeah...it seems almost meant to be in a way -Laughs and smiles and giggles at the same time-"
"is that possible? o__o"
"Not sure, just tried it, somehow my voice squeaked. -Nods- I want to Tanya, I want to give it a shot..."
"awesome "
"...but...so....I take it we're now not single anymore? -Nod- It'll be a lot of help and yes, I will always be there for you too"
"we're not single in the way that I'll kick you hard if you decide to randomly date someone in the next.. six months or so
"
"-Laughs- You know how I feel about that, I consider myself not single, internet relationship or not. If we're really going to give this a shot I'm going to consider it a real relationship, you'll be my girlfriend (that sounds so weird) and I would be faithful. I'm not (ex gf) for christ's sake"
"so yay"
"Yes, yay, it's offical, yes, no, maybe, bacon?"
"I think so. we haven't met but it's sure close enough, at least long-distance official"
"-Nod- As offical as an online relationship can get"
"best friend, LEVEL UP!"
"lol Oh lord
"
After that, I skipped to school.
We talked after school, very happy and laughing a lot.
"I told my mother: "I'm not single anymore" "....please....not (ex gf)..." "no, it's Tanya" "Oh thank god" "
"I still find it hilarious that we went from best friends to bf/gf in one day
"
We had no idea if we'd last a week, a month, or something more.
--
We've now been together for 11 months, and our 1-year anniversary is coming up. We're very happy together and very much in love. I proposed to him over the phone last summer, he said yes. More officially, on September 11th 2006 when he was visiting, he proposed to me at Gasworks park, ring and all.
Everyone was shocked, we were overjoyed.
He's moving to Seattle after nearly a year apart in January of 07, if all goes as planned.
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