On the Inside

On the Inside

Obedient and small,
Smiling and good.
To all demands I abide.
The smiling face and attitude,
Are both working on the outside.

A merry laugh,
A happy face,
All this is but a mask.
"Nothing's wrong." I'll tell you,
If you even care to ask.

My life is good,
My life is blessed.
That's what I tell those who care.
In my hear and in my mind
My life just doesn't seem fair.

I live for life,
Life is fun,
That's what my face does say.
But to the hurt within myself,
Why can't it just go away?

All the turmoil,
All the pain,
These possess my being.
So when you look on the outside,
You truly aren't seeing.

The anger that kills,
Hate's fatal kiss,
I now am slowly dying.
But I look each day full in the face,
And I do so without crying.

The hurting pain,
The longing inside,
To this my heart loudly cries out.
It takes everything to hold it in,
And more not to use Anguish's shout.

On the inside,
From the out,
No matter where you look.
My heart is crying out to you,
For I fake life by the book.

Go away hope,
Leave me alone.
I don't think I can handle much more.
I'm tired of all the lying,
I want to shut off Life's core.

No more pain,
No more anger,
I'm finished--please do not chide.
Just promise that the next time
You'll look at me from the inside.