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Unwanted
Swatted flies,
On the sill.
Unmoving, unclean
Stillness and regret
Wafting past in p l u m e s...
No wings to fly
Souls reaped away.
Little black bodies.
Million-eyed creatures
D E A D, on the sill.
Sun shining through
Black bodies move--
With the wind, but only just.
Nature gives them life.
They flew and rose
Above the swatter
Wherever they went,
It followed
stalker of life.
Lifeless flies
Swatted on the sill.
Unwanted
Like all troubles.
Begotten
Like the wars.
A B A N D O N E D
Like our world.
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Comments
Animayqueen Says:
Very sad, but very nicely written. I like the way you made some of the words. Very nice.
vampirella666 Says:
...That's amazing. I adore how you took a supposed flies point of view and worked it into a powerful poem about pain. That's absolutely amazing. Instant fav.
~Rayne
Riot13O Says:
Really great. I really love the imagery in the beginning part of the poem. Seriously. It gives a great sense of despair and sadness. I guess the only thing I could recommend on making this poem even better would be that it kind of seemed like you were having the poem break down a little bit more as it got towards the end. Like, shorter verses and the like. Maybe exaggerating the poem breaking down a bit more could help? Having words with more spaces, letters more spaced out (like the word "abandoned)--something of the like? Sorry if I'm not clear.
Either way, very much fav'ed. Great work.