I AM CLOSED MINDED

I AM CLOSED MINDED

I read an interesting article written by Shelby Steel called "I%u2019m Black, You%u2019re White, who%u2019s innocent?" the other day. According to Steel, racism has to do with looking at one%u2019s self (and their race) as innocent, and using that innocence as a means to power. Admittedly, anyone who%u2019s been a victim of racism, sexism, or any of those other -isms sees those who%u2019ve done them wrong as "bad", consequently seeing themselves as innocent. If I were to say I was proud to be straight, for instance, it would sound quite similar to someone saying they were proud to be white- that is, discriminatory as hell.
*STOP!*
If you've found some way to be offended at this point, please start over from the beginning and actually READ what's WRITTEN, not what you think is written. Thank you.
*Continue!*
The guilt of whites opens a door for racial bargaining, that is, using their guilt as a bargaining chip in order to get what one wants. This also works in the case of sexual orientation, religion and a whole host of other crap%u2026 I have no right to complain when a gay person does something wrong to me because gay people have been persecuted and treated like trash; I am guilty because I am straight; How men can%u2019t really accuse women of rape, even when it happens, because they are male and are therefore guilty. How I can say "nigger" %u2018cause I%u2019m black, but you can%u2019t because you aren%u2019t. (Actually, I don%u2019t like it when anyone uses that word. It%u2019s like you don%u2019t take what happened in those days seriously.) If you%u2019re white, you%u2019re guilty because of how your race treated blacks (and lots of other people) before, and you carry that guilt, regardless of whether or not you have personally done anything wrong. I think this double standards thing is bullshit. What am I getting at? I want to know how can we be equal if we use one another%u2019s guilt to push ourselves above each other?

More often than not, it%u2019s the victims of mistreatment who come out to speak of it. Very rarely would someone work to affirm their own guilt; be it the guilt of their race, sexual orientation or some other personal guilt. When they do, there always seems to be some padding added, just to make the guilty party a little less guilty and a little stronger. The guilty tend to cover their tracks. Guilt is impurity, unworthiness and deeper still, weakness. This is why it%u2019s terribly important that one considers themselves innocent. Clearly in most conflicts there is a guilty and innocent party. This is why you don%u2019t normally see writings about straight people who are abused by gays%u2026 or at least, not written by a gay person. This is why you won%u2019t ever see a story of a woman destroying a man%u2019s life on Lifetime. It%u2019s television for women, by women and it would be pretty crazy of them to bring out their own guilt instead of just pointing out the guilt of men.

I remember watching CSPAN at a McDonalds next to my old school not too long. There was some kinda meeting going on (It%u2019s CSPAN; there%u2019s always some meeting going on%u2026) concerning a vote for something. It apparently had something to do with spending money, or taxes or something, because some man got up and began to complain about the %u2018intense spending%u2019 that Democrats are apparently doing. He used a bunch of fancy charts and graphs with blinking lights on them and continued to scream things like "Democrats are doing nothing but spend, spend, spend!" The room, comprised mostly of Republicans, nodded in agreement; all but one man. The older man stood and calmly addressed the room as respectfully as possible, but you could obviously tell that he had been seriously wronged. He proceeded to call the previous speaker out on his bravado, exclaiming that the previous Democratic administration left with a $­­­­­­­­7 trillion dollar surplus and the current is facing a $­­­­­­­­16 trillion (or something like that) deficit. He goes on to explain that the current administration is run mostly by Republicans, but the Democrats were being blamed for things they don%u2019t have enough power to even do! The people in the room were a bit shocked, and looked uncomfortable because their guilt was exposed to them. Nobody likes to be guilty. From all of this guilt and innocence comes double standards that we all have to deal with in our every day lives. One example that I can draw from my own life comes from how I was raised with my sister. Every so often, my parents would tell her to %u2018watch out for those boys%u2019 because they %u2018don%u2019t care about you%u2019 and were %u2018bloodthirsty%u2019. Conversely, I%u2019d be told to go out and get me a girl. I never really got any speeches about how I should be kind to girls and stay faithful to them in relationships- in fact, I%u2019ve been told to %u2018look around%u2019 and %u2018try %u2018em all on for size%u2019. Sounds counterproductive, doesn%u2019t it? The problem there is that no parent sees their offspring as guilty, for that would be like seeing part of themselves as guilty. No one wants to be guilty. Things in the rules of etiquette I%u2019ve been taught have also dangled frustrating double standards in my face. Women need equal rights and such, but I need to make them a little more equal with the teachings of chivalry. Good lord, I hate the idea of chivalry, or at least the parts that deal with the treatment of women. I want to be equal with you, so why do I have to treat you any better than anyone else? If anything, I should be taught to treat everyone a little nicer. I should be taught to open doors for people, not just women. I'll treat you nicely because I'm nice, not because you're a girl.

It's probably naive of me to think like this, but I believe we can't truly be equal until we stop putting certian groups on pedestols. What I mean is, celebrate the bravery and whatnot of each of these groups so as not to forget, but don't think that you're lower than they are because you are white or because you are straight. What I mean to say... well, it's like on black history month. The way things were done in the schools I've attended, it was "you should feel guilty about being white" month instead. Instead of focusing on the triumph of the blacks, such as the Rosa Parks incident or the Martin Luther King speech, it always seems like they focus on the horrible things that the whites did to us. I dunno. I just feel like there should be more "black" in black history month, like stuff about black people that they don't talk about... the pain should be included so it isn't repeated 'n all, but we need more about the guy who invented the Golf tee and all that kinda stuff. It ends up being white history month anyway, just largely featuring blacks. Ok, I went off on a tangent there. What I'm getting at is this- When I am approached sexually and turn a person down, no means NO. This goes for gays, straights, whites, blacks, Orangutans and those little Arby's hats. The first refusal should be the last; when I tell you I'm straight, back off. Thank you.
*STOP!*
If you've found some way to be offended at this point, please start over from the beginning and actually READ what's WRITTEN, not what you think is written. Thank you.
*Continue!*

I was called 'closed minded' by the person who left their angry mark on this article. She read as far as the initial discription of the article; the reason I wrote the article. One day, I was sexually harrassed on the Elevated Subway by some random gay guy. Specifically, he grabbed my ass and tried to kiss me. I refused him and told him I was straight, and he left me alone for that day. The next day, he tried the same thing again and wouldn't stop this time. Showing displeasure with these actions apparently makes me closed minded.

Now, let's run over this scenario for a minute. I probably wasn't clear enough when I first posted this article, but I won't allow any excuses to get by this time. Let's say we have a scenario in which a man grows up and has a hard life, and is bullied because... I dunno, let's say he was bullied for his sexuality. Ok, so one day, he decides to grope some random woman on the train. What happens? If the woman defends herself, she's doing just that- acting in self defence, and the man in question is at fault, reguardless of whatever his past or anyone else's past entailed. Agreed? Well, now let's change that situation around a bit... this man lives his life as he did before, but one day decides to grope some random boy on the train. The boy fears getting in trouble for physically defending himself, so he simply tells the man to stop it. The man persists, however, so the boy must react. The problem here is that any reaction would be an act in 'closed mindedness' according to this way of thinking.

Do you still agree? Is the boy closed minded because he doesn't want to be groped by some guy randomly on a train? Was the boy closed minded for not liking it when he was raped by gay men twice before? According to this commenter, he was very much closed minded.

That's pretty mean. Calling me 'close minded' because I'm straight is the same as me calling someone a 'devil' for being born white. It's stupid as hell, and people need to stop it. People have no damned control over how they are born, so others just need to stop being such bigots. Being gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, or anything else you can think of does not put you on a higher moral plane than me; it just doesn't. It's irritating, especially because I put extra effort into helping people and generally being a good person. I try not to judge people based on anything but what they do, but because I'm straight, it's not good enough. Because I'm straight, I've 'obviously' never experienced any sort of discrimination based upon my sexuality, and I've never been hurt because of it either.
To those who honestly think that, I'd like to say this:
Don't assume things about me. You have know idea what I've seen or done, what I've experienced or how I think. It's upsetting that people would make such comments without even thinking, just because the offender is part of thier group. People go to such great lengths to protect people they don't even know for the wrong reasons.

I'd like someone to give me a concise definition of homophobia, because it's beginning to seem as though saying that any person that happens to be gay does something wrong is one definition. Then people start throwing thier histories at me, as one more thrust on thier ascension to innocence, and my own toss into guilt.
Don't let yourself do this to people, it doesn't make you a better person.

By the way, I'm no "white-picket fence" kinda guy- I generally don't give a shit what people do, as long as they don't fucking drag me into it. I've got a right to live my life the way I want to, and if I don't interfere with yours, why should you jump on my lifestyle?

If you've gotten this far and somehow feel offended, I'm going to ask you to start over and read from the beginning, and repeat this as neccesary. I want you to parse every character of every word of every sentance until each string burns into your retinas. Then think about it if you want to. If you still want to mouth off to me, go cry in a pillow. I'm tired of taking shit for the right to speak up.