Just Between You 'n Me

Just Between You 'n Me

Just Between You %u2018n Me
For Christian Teenage Girls
Written by %u2013 Jessica (last name blocked for protection)

OK, girl, let me lay it all out for you. This is for the %u2018outsiders%u2019 and the %u2018unbeautiful%u2019; this is for those with no sense of self-worth, and for those who want to grow and prosper under the shadow of the Lord%u2019s wings. I can%u2019t promise that everything written in this will be 100% effective, but it will at least guide (and hopefully inspire!) you to be better, and to become who God wants you to be.

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%u2022 There%u2019s Always a Risk When It Comes to Becoming an Insider%u2026
You simply must know that if you%u2019re an outsider and you become an %u2018insider%u2019 through the guidance of this, there is always that possibility of becoming a social %u2018clone%u2019. Almost all the %u2018insiders%u2019 I know dress the same, act the same, and practically are the same. That is a seriously bad thing. I can%u2019t stress that enough. It. Is. Bad. If you become an %u2018insider%u2019 of the social jungle, and do exactly what the other %u2018insiders%u2019 do, you give up your ability to make your own choices and be your own woman. That%u2019s when you can no longer be Miss Independent! You%u2019ve got to be careful out there at school, church, and anywhere else that has %u2018insiders%u2019, %u2018in-betweeners%u2019, and %u2018outsiders%u2019. Never give up your uniqueness. If others despise you for being yourself, they are not worthy of you, and you should remove yourself from their presence at once.

%u2022 It All Starts in Your Head%u2026
Yep, you%u2019ve heard it a thousand times before, now you%u2019re going to hear it one more time because it is so true. If you want to be beautiful you must believe that you are beautiful! God crafted your body and soul with His artistic hand to perfection! Oh, sure, we as teenagers get pimples and everything ugly that puberty brings along, but that doesn%u2019t change your beauty! Zits will fade, and too-long arms and legs will even out as we grow older. Never let that overly-massive mega-zit right between your eyes change the way you think about yourself.

%u2022 Do Something About It%u2026
Can%u2019t really believe that you%u2019re absolutely gorgeous? Well, do something about it! On Friday night, or a night when you have nothing going on (and no school the next day!) listen to your favorite song in the entire world. If it%u2019s a depressing, sad song that won%u2019t work out too well%u2026 try to find a song that%u2019s up-beat and makes you feel happy and all fluffy inside. Don%u2019t have it on CD? It%u2019s alright! Just get onto http://music.yahoo.com (free internet music site) and make an account, sign in and browse the %u2018Top 100%u2019 music videos. If you want to, you can plug in your headphones for some privacy when it comes to the songs you listen to. Got it in your head? Is it repeating again and again and again; are you in an exceedingly happy mood? Good! Jump in the shower and scrub your hair as many times as there are different shampoos; allow yourself to dance around to the song you listened to (hopefully it%u2019s still repeating in your head!). Shave your legs, armpits, and whatever else you want to (but I would advise that you not shave your arms or your face %u2013 that could get ugly). Wash yourself completely, or until you feel pretty good about yourself. If you have any smell-good body lotion, and if you want to, lather that on (of course, after you%u2019ve dried yourself). Put on some pajamas and go right on ahead treating yourself. You can cut or paint your nails; call your boyfriend and have a good, long conversation with him; play a card game with your family; whatever you%u2019d like the best! Whatever you do, just make sure you laugh a lot and have tons of fun. Laughter is a powerful thing and can heal a lot of emotional wounds when done truthfully. If you think you%u2019re %u2018heavy%u2019 or, more bluntly, fat %u2018n lardy, don%u2019t eat anything sugary or fattening that night. Cheerios are usually a good light, everyday snack. You%u2019ll feel better the next day if you avoid fattening foods. Another good way to be more comfortable with your belly is to start exercising your abs a little bit each day. Do some crunches, sit-ups, leg-lifts, and whatever else there is that works your middle. If you just flat out don%u2019t know what to do for your abs, get your parents or friends to help you %u2013 or even ask someone who does Cross-Country or weight-lifting at their school. Give it a bit of time, though - abdominals don%u2019t appear overnight!

%u2022 Get your Wardrobe to Reflect You%u2026
Got pants? Take another night to go through all of your pants and throw out any of them you don%u2019t like anymore. If you think your parents will get mad, tell them there are places where you can get money for turning in old clothes - the best thing about charity! Remember, having a large wardrobe won%u2019t help you get anywhere. Go out to the mall sometime and buy new clothes to replace the ones thrown out. Choose clothes that you%u2019re comfortable in (make sure they%u2019re modest! Modesty is a powerful thing; I%u2019ll explain it in another section), and clothes that you think make you look beautiful. If you don%u2019t layer your clothes, start doing just that! It makes almost everyone look pretty. Matching colors are always best together. Black, white, and khaki are three colors that go with anything. Try to get colors that match your eyes or hair %u2013 that%u2019s always a beautiful thing to see. A key thing to make yourself feel really good about your clothing is to wear clothing that makes you look great, and clothing that reflects who you are. I want to be in the Army when I grow up, and I also like Army-ish things, and so I wear a lot of Army/military clothes. If your clothes say %u201CHey, this is me, and no-one else%u201D then you%u2019ve hit the bull%u2019s eye for fashion.

%u2022 The Key to Respect%u2026
Remember what I said about modesty? Modesty is a truly powerful thing for a woman to wield. It says to most men %u201CHey, I%u2019m a proper lady. If you even think I%u2019m going to let someone like you see my body: get a life!%u201D For some strange reason, wearing modest clothing announces to guys that you demand respect, and that you aren%u2019t about to give your body to anyone. Make sure you wear modest clothing 99% of the time - you can wear immodest clothing when you%u2019re at home. Modest clothing would generally include loose shirts, %u2018long%u2019 shorts, pants, and skirts that at least go down to your knees. Skin-tight tank tops that show cleavage should only be worn at home. You don%u2019t want to tempt guys, because%u2026 you just don%u2019t want to.

%u2022 Be Proud! Get that Attitude%u2026
It%u2019s very important to carry yourself correctly. If you carry yourself proudly, people will notice and generally not bug you too much. They%u2019ll begin to respect you. %u2018So, just how am I suppose to carry myself?%u2019 you ask. Puff your chest out! Chin parallel to the floor, look people in the eyes when you talk to them %u2013 directly in the eyes with a confidence! %u2013 hold your head up and walk mildly slow and graceful. People will notice and see your God-given beauty. I don%u2019t know about you, but I always get a boost of confidence when I catch young men looking at me respectfully like I am a truly beautiful woman. But be careful! I warn you with seriousness! Some young men will see a physically beautiful woman and want to %u2018hook up%u2019 with them just for sex. Do. Not. I repeat. Do not let this happen. Sex must be saved for the one man you marry and only after you marry him!

%u2022 Stay With Your Christian Roots%u2026
It%u2019s vital for you to stick with God. He created you, and deserves to be glorified! Once a day take 30 minuets to read your Bible and pray to God, thanking Him for making you so absolutely beautiful, and thanking Him for always being there for you, no matter what has happened. There is a website that has daily devotionals for teenage girls just like you and me. Go to http://www.briomag.com and click on the link %u201CSpiritual Health%u201D, and then on the link %u201CRead Through the Bible with Brio%u201D. Try your best to stick with it. Your relationship with God is the most important thing out there! When you%u2019re going through some really hard times, make it a point to do a devotional and pray. God will help you through those times and comfort you better than anyone else.

%u2022 Had a Bad Past...
Ok, I know you and I can both agree that we haven%u2019t been the best of people, and that we%u2019ve messed up big time at least once in our lives. This can affect how you might think about yourself, or how others look at you. Alrighty, as an example I%u2019ll use my own little story%u2026 In 2005, just before Christmas break I was caught with a pocketknife at school. Also, in 6th grade I was part of a small gang. Not the best of things%u2026 The pocketknife incident folded out pretty bad, and fellow students have been giving me dirty looks since my gangster profile became public. Don%u2019t let the others get you down if you mess up, and if you punish yourself too much, know that you messed up %u2013 we all do %u2013 but also make a promise to yourself never to do the same thing again. Keep your chin up. If you don%u2019t do the same thing again, others will forget it ever happened, and people won%u2019t hate you forever. Persevere!

%u2022 Stay in School%u2026
Yet another phrase you hear everywhere! And, once again, it%u2019s so true. In school you learn things (duh), and you gain knowledge (another duh). Let me tell it to you straight up: knowledge is power. Without knowledge we are nothing at all. Where would our economy be without knowledge? No cars, no computers, no music, no electricity; no nothing that humans today take for granted! Always pay attention in class, and do your homework (even though homework is a major pain, it was created so the information we learned that day in school will sink in deep enough). Getting good grades boosts your self-esteem to major heights, and plus you can always stun the other students (if you study enough!) with your knowledge and become highly respected!

%u2022 Step Up To the Plate%u2026
So, you%u2019ve got the attitude, you believe you%u2019re beautiful; you%u2019ve got it down to never be like the others, and to do devotionals or quite time with God at least once daily. Now what? God calls us to do good works, and to go wherever He calls us to go. Of course, God might not call a 14-year-old to go to India and preach His Word, but there is always something to do in your surrounding society. There is always that girl at school who might not be saved, or is saved but is falling fast from God; if she%u2019s an outsider, or a total weird-o, at least try to reach out to her. Write her a letter of comfort and put it on her desk; or ask her if she would like to join you on a trip to the mall. It usually won%u2019t be easy, but it%u2019ll be worth it in the long-run. Worried that your other friends will ditch you? If they do, then they aren%u2019t real friends. Real friends support one another; no matter what (unless their friend is going to commit suicide, kill someone, ect.). When you reach out to someone in need of help and succeed at helping them, you%u2019ll get the best feeling swelled up inside your chest, and the person you helped will be eternally grateful - whether they show it or not.

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Well, girl, that%u2019s all I have to say for now. Keep your ears open because another issue of Just Between You %u2018n Me might be coming out sometime. If you have any questions, or you want something special in the next issue (I can%u2019t honesty promise a next issue, but it%u2019s always good to be optimistic) just call me on my cell phone, or e-mail me. I%u2019m always here if you need my help in any way!

God speed, sis,
- Jessie (last name blocked for protection)