Into the Green

by Sylvia

in Completed Works

Into the Green

Dissolve like resolve
turning into that which you are.
Return, another right turn,
into a place something like home.
Decisions changing into descissions
putting the pieces back together into a puzzle-like frame.
Dementia dementions
loosing reality in relativity, science distorting fact.
Inscissions cutting the pieces apart again
when incision brings nonmovement.
We're leaf-rotting.
Slowly we become detritus as if we believe in retrotritus
becoming healthy again.
Rotting minds and bodies as we stagnate,
forgetting to doenate ourselves to a larger picture.
> Poetry

Description

Mar 2nd 2006
Tags:
critique experimental experimental free verse green human nature nonwords philosophical society unwords words
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This is a poem done with a lot of words that I made up according to linguistics/poetic rules, and one or two just straight up nonsense words. BUt I hope that my meaning will come across because of these experimental words.

Comments

Der Sensenmann Says:

:0
Non-sense words are the best. You really pulled it off!
It gives me a real nature/regeneration feeling. I like it.

1 Reply

Windsong Says:

I love the sounds! It sounds awesome!
I like the weird words especially!

Fun!

unsuitedhand Says:

This strikes me as a violet regurgitation of half-hashed ideas. Your theme, rotting minds/waste of life, is dealt with often and better in your other works. The words you attempted to invent and utilise, seemingly for the purpose of demonstrating or generating some cognitive dissonance, are useless in that they more closely resemble a cluttered collection of typos than reformations. I feel, and this is just my opinion, that if a poet wants to do this kind of thing then they should either be a great deal more obvious or a great deal more subtle about it.

While I paused at and considered "retrotritus" for a few moments, the clearest meaning (or unclearest) fell between a retrograde of decay (from detritus) to something like "retroactive" and the tail end of "impetus", keyed to the visual twinning of "detritus". "Doenated" also was caught my attention and led me to think interesting things %u2013 doe, a shy animal, submissive, subjucation. Well-modified, well-employed.

Ultimately this was a cutesy exercise but an ineffective piece. I can't rave about it, but I suggest trying again, perhaps putting more emphasis on the words and making it clear that they are experimental spellings/uses. "Decisions" and your alternative are meant to say dessication. You could rearrange letters some more and play with it if you feel you want to salvage it, but I think the best part of it was that it got you thinking about how to use this technique. Now you just need to use it effectively.

1 Reply