I noticed one of those annoying glitches in the second stanza: "Faerie beneath the winter%u2019s shower." I know I'd rather have someone point them out to me when they find them so I can fix them, so I thought I'd say.
Also, a couple of times, the "r" and "i" got switched in faerie.
I liked the imagery of the sixth stanza, first asking for whispered secrets and then the key. I also liked the imagery in the third stanza, with dreams and then sleep.
If I could suggest one revision, I would swap the lines in the last stanza, so that it would be:
Faerie I have a heart to lend,
Faerie let me be your friend.
I just feel like a person would present their heart before making the request to be a friend. That's just my humble opinion, though. It's your poem and your artistic choice in the end.
Comments
looniest heather Says:
awwwwwwwwwwwww
Lilac Wood Says:
Very sweet poem :) I like it.
I noticed one of those annoying glitches in the second stanza: "Faerie beneath the winter%u2019s shower." I know I'd rather have someone point them out to me when they find them so I can fix them, so I thought I'd say.
Also, a couple of times, the "r" and "i" got switched in faerie.
I liked the imagery of the sixth stanza, first asking for whispered secrets and then the key. I also liked the imagery in the third stanza, with dreams and then sleep.
If I could suggest one revision, I would swap the lines in the last stanza, so that it would be:
Faerie I have a heart to lend,
Faerie let me be your friend.
I just feel like a person would present their heart before making the request to be a friend. That's just my humble opinion, though. It's your poem and your artistic choice in the end.