Psyciatric Hotline

Psyciatric Hotline

Thank you for calling psychiatric hotline.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, have somebody press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid schizophrenia, listen to the little voice. They%u2019ll tell you which button to press.

If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and why you called. Stay on the line so this can be traced.

If you are suicidal, please hold.