Placebo Effect

Placebo Effect

I didn't know what to expect, as I walked into a brilliantly bright, white room. A long, white table was in the rectangular room, the three or four chairs facing what seemed to be a one-way mirror. An all-white camera was in the top right corner, it's red bulb glaring at me as i sat down.

I sat down at the far chair, not looking at the mirror. I tapped my foot to an unheard beat and kept my head down and looking over my right shoulder, my back hunched, undoubtedly giving me a hunched over look. Maybe I even looked like a loner, a bum, someone who really shouldn't have been in there.

Soon I realized that my jacket matched in with the rest of the room. This somewhat alamed me, although I can't say why. Taptaptap went my foot and soon my fingers were being beat against the table's face as well.

A woman walks into the room maybe seven minutes after I do. She's pretty: long, curly brown hair, almond shaped eyes and full lips. She has a kind face.

After the woman, another man walks in. He seems like the business type on a rare day off and quite irritated about it. Come on, dude, we all signed the consent forms. Get over it. You're here.
I notice a wedding band on his left ring finger. He should be home with his wife.

Next a young grad-student walks in, carrying a clipboard and wearing a white lab coat. He's checking off something on the clipboard and his glasses keep sliding dangerously near the end of his nose.

The grad student looks up from his clipboard at us, gives a genuine smile and speaks.

"Alright. Today is just a simple test and will only take two hours." He pauses to check his watch. "So you should be out of here by three p.m. Not bad." He gives a kind of sympathetic laugh to console us. Yeah, you *should* be sorry for the lab rats....

Grad Student continues: "You'll each receive one pill, to be taken with this water-" a janitor wheels in a small cart with six small cups on top. "The effects should take place within five minutes."

We are each given our cups of water and one bright blue pill (looks like a Tylenol Liqui-gel to me). We each swallow our pills. After I've downed this horse pill I notice that all the cups have numbers on them: 1, 2, 3...I got number 2. That's interesting because I was in the third chair and the first person here. That doesn't give me an immediate answer. And I sure can't ask. That was in the consent form. No talking, no asking questions. Just wait for five minutes after you've been given your "treatment" and then share how you feel. Well, apparently I'm about to feel someting. Joy.

I watch the hands of the clock. Ticktickticktick... one minute. Three minutes...four..four and a half...*sigh* three, two....one...

As soon as I see and hear that last "tick" from the clock, the room not only spins, but seems to swirl, as if someone just put a paintbrush in the image and made a clockwise turn. I don't like this. I feel light headed and very...swimmy, shall I say? My fingertips go numb, that's so wierd...and I can feel my heart racing. I want to gag but can't. So I decide to speak up. I turn my head to the grad student and start saying "I don't feel so goo-" but my speech sounds so strange, as if my tongue has swelled in my mouth. My lips aren't working...

Finally, my gag reflex kicks in. Up goes breakfast all over the tile floor, but then the floor isn't there...just bright, white, space... that doesnt make sense... how could my chair be standing... oh my god.

My chair isn't standing. I'm not sitting. In fact, I am sort of standing, but just barely. You see, in order to stand, you need to have your feet on the floor and to be somewhat motionless. Now I'm drifting through white space... never a good sign...no, not a good sign.