The Bush II Constitution

The Bush II Constitution

The Bush II Constitution

Tyler DiPietrantonio

PREAMBLE

We, the neoconservative lunatics of the Bush II regime, and it's humble following among southern Bible thumpers and country music fans, do hereby recognize the supremacy of the State over the individual, the superiority of perpetual war and excessive foreign entanglements to peace, and the convenience of unlimited and unchecked State power as opposed to a Constitutionally Limited Republic. Therefore, we do hereby ordain and establish this new Constitution.

ARTICLE I

All limitations on government power enumerated in the previous Constitution are effectively null and void. Enumerated powers are now whatever we say they are, so deal with it.

ARTICLE II

The authority of the legislative body to declare official war and any other restrictions on the government's power to engage in military action shall now be prefaced with the text “When convenient”.

ARTICLE III

The right of the government to conduct wiretaps, secret searches, record seizures, or any other violation of individual privacy is hereby reserved. The 4th. Amendment shall now be amended to allow us to define whatever a reasonable search or seizure is.

ARTICLE IV

The right of the government to create new categories among it's citizenry in order to dodge Constitutional guarantees of a right to a fair trial is hereby reserved. Everyone who we want to go after is now hereby labeled an “enemy combatant”.

ARTICLE V

The government shall be fully within it's power to spend American taxpayer dollars like a drunken sailor. Despite any claims of being a “conservative” I shall spend this country into oblivion and redeem any loss of support I have with tax-cuts.

ARTICLE VI

Any potential war is now officially justified with the fantasy of “making the world safe for democracy.” Since America is not now and nor has it ever been under the threat of invasion, we will simply use the legendary excuse of such luminaries as Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Harry Truman, and Lyndon B. Johnson. By the way, we're still conservatives.

ARTICLE VII

Contradictions in our rhetoric shall hereby not exist. Talking about “national security” while our borders are wide-open and welcoming 100,000 illegal aliens a month is no longer a contradiction. Nor is talking about “fiscal responsibility”with a record deficit.

SIGNED

The Neoconservative Lunatics of the Bush II Regime.