THE GIRLS BATHROOM aka THE MOTHER BASE

THE GIRLS BATHROOM aka THE MOTHER BASE

What really goes on in the girl’s bathroom…

I, Rag, have found myself thinking that all through out high school.

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[Receiving incoming transmission]

Piscataway NJ
September 28, 2005

It started as a normal day at PHS. People crowding the halls beyond belief, clichés and stereotypes swarmed in their own corners of the school.

Everything was completely normal. Enter school, wait for friends, walk aimlessly until warning bell rings and then rush to class before I get marked late.

But today was different. For today I, codename: Rag, was to explore the ultimate no mans land, I was to descend into the pits of everything unmanly, yes, you guess correct, I was to venture into the girls bathroom.

[Approximately 0145 Eastern Time]

It all started during the last period of school, gym. Everyone was ready to leave that prison; you could almost smell the angst and drama in the air.

I was having a very manly discussion with agent: Hewett about fluffy bunnies and pink fuzzies when two fellow comrades approached me at a faster than normal pace. Their message could be loosely translated into; “Rag! Agent Loaf needs across from room F100 ASAP”. I was confused at the time but I knew if Loaf had sent two comrades to summon me this had to be urgent. I ignored all command from the detaining officers and rushed through the gym asylum doors. As I turned the corner to face room F100 I realized that I was to venture into… a female human waste disposal derrick. I at first did not completely comprehend the matter but I knew I had a duty to for fill. As I walked towards the cursed entrance I saw the face of agent: Loaf. I felt a sigh of relief but then she quickly ushered me into the doomed room.


========BLACKEDOUT========

(But now the time was at least 0155 Eastern Time. I shall not discuss what truly went on with agent: Loaf during my signoff from normal radio transmission for it is HIGHLY classified and agent: Loaf would have my head if she found out.)

… Soon I ended up inside the last stall with Loaf. With our hearts pounding we exchanged glances. We both then realized the time of the release bell will soon ring and approximately 2.8 thousand student will pour into the hallways to desperately get out of the facility. I then knew it was too far to turn back, for if I bailed now I would be spotted by a female scout and would be swiftly eliminated.

We waited

The accursed signal gave and a wave of yells, curses, insults and growls filled the hallways. Sooner than I thought the small bathroom was engulfed with female field soldiers. I was safely crouched on the toilet inside the stall Loaf and me where taking refuge in.

As the mayhem continued I made it my duty as a male to expose the world of what truly happens in female bathrooms.

These are my first hand accounts unchanged and unaltered:

-What seemed to be a sporty alpha female entered the room and proceeded to enter the stall next to ours. I wish the human brain were able to undo things witnessed for what I am about to tell you is disturbing. As she emptied out her bladder contents my first thought was that an extremely hung male was relieving himself, then the flow greatly increased and I pictured a large land mammal much like a horse relieving himself and then it began firing the liquid with unearthly power. The hair on my back stood up in awe and fear of what was directly behind the thin composite wall I was hiding behind.

-Stumbling back I touched what seemed to be a separate waste disposal device… I soon learned it was to aid disposal of the monthly female cycle units. I almost lost my mind when I found out. No man should have seen what I saw

-I overheard numerous females talking about “field hockey” practice. I assume it is a recreational sport in which anti-male rituals are performed. Agent Loaf reassured me that it was nothing to worry about but I think she just said that to shield me from the true horrors.

-Various female doom soldiers were changing from their school guise into a far more menacing and evil form, “cheerleaders”, “soccer” and “band” uniforms littered the ground as they shed their skin for stronger armor. I dare not look for it is said that man that peak at female changing is instantly blinded and has his genitals spontaneous combust into a fiery inferno.

-I heard them plotting motives against us male specimens. Apparently we use weapons and tactics like “breaking up”, “cheating” and “walking penis”.

-It is true that the female specimen swarms the inner workings of the lavatories to have strength in numbers and exchange valuable battlefield information. My position inside this enemy base was becoming tense as female conscript entered and exited with reinforcements.

At last the soldiers dissipated and I grew more comfortable settings. My legs where cramped from crouching on the toilet so they would not see 2 pair of feet, especially male feet. Who knows what would happen to me if I had been found. As the numbers lessened we faintly heard two of our most trust worthy scouts, agents: Psycho and Banjo.
Loaf quickly decided to take the chance and try to fool the guards that where at the entrance so she could notify other forces of my situation. Those brief moments in which I was alone inside the female bases confines I felt hopeless and caged in. I started thinking about my loved ones and how much Loaf means to me while each second went by. Then a familiar voice came. It was Psycho; she was here to aid me for I was behind enemy lines. With quick thinking she came up with a plan and I was swiftly extracted from the confines uninjured physically but mentally I would be tainted for life.

As I write this the noise of the inhuman squirting of the bladder haunts me. It sounded like a high-pressure hose. No matter how well endowed any male can be they could not come close to producing such powerful blasts from a urethra.

These are my accounts fresh in my mind. I hope these shall help my fellow comrades in battle and warfare.

Agent: Rag signing off

[End transmission]