Fred's World(s): An adventure involving yams

Fred's World(s): An adventure involving yams

Once, there was a boy called Fred. Fred liked yams. In fact, he liked them so much, that he loved them in an almost sexual way. Anyway, he had a favourite yam. He\'d been growing the yam since he was in his mums womb. (Yes, his mum ate a yam seed, so he grew it. Why not, eh? (The doctors were also very surprised when the baby pulled out small yam plant with him, but that doesn\'t matter)). The plant was so big, he\'s had to start growing it a greenhouse the size of Florida. Anyway, he \"hired\" over 50 manslaves to grow and nourish the plant all the time.

One day, Fred decided to cut out a hole for himself inside the humungous yam, so he could (more or less) live inside the yam. So, his manslaves used a huge air blast gun, put Fred inside it and blasted him into the very heart of the yam. Inside the yam, Fred was very surprised to find a basket full of green dwarfs. \"What the bloody hell are you doing inside my yam?!?!\". bellowed Fred.
\"We have been chosen by the great bean of the moon as messengers. He wishes for you to take this yam to him so that they can mate, mix seeds, and ultimately form a vegetable the likes of which the universe has never seen!\", the dwarfes leader announced.
\"This still doesn\'t explain why your\'e living inside my yam\", said Fred. The leader of the dwarfers shrugge. \"We just like yams alot\".

Well, Fred hired NASPA (National American Space Pie Association) to get his yam to the moon. So, NASPA sent over a dot. Not just any dot, but a dot that, when you went inside, was large enough to house several elephants. The dot also happened to be the fastest thing in the universe. Anyway, the rolled the yam outside the greenhouse, with Fred and the dwarves still inside. The yam was attached to the dot with a rope. (Don\'t ask me how the heck they fitted it around the dot, especially when it was always travelling at 90mph, even hen it was stationery. It\'s THAT fast. There\'s also the small matter that the rope was approximatelly 60 times larger than the dot itsself, but to cut a long story short, they did it, k?), and the dot headed for the moon at a speed of 1000 kilo-phwoars. But, 0.0000(reccurring)1 seconds later, disaster struck! The dot, instead of landing on the moon, simply went through it. Fortunately, the yam was wedged against the moons surface, so it couldn\'t go through the hole. (What happened to the dot? It went through the perimimeter of the legal universal limis, and was promptly shot for tresspassing on God\'s property)

Part 2 coming whenever I can be bothered to stick it up here.