Freedom

Freedom

Freedom


Flame. I remember flame, all around me. Loud bangs and clashes like thunder. Was it a war? Everyone was shouting and sobbing, running around like chickens with their heads chopped off. I couldn’t breathe; my eyesight became hazy and I started to become disoriented. Someone, I can’t remember who it was, but it felt like a woman threw her body over mine, and then, everything went dark.
I can’t remember anything after that; everything is just a blurred blank. The next thing I remember is waking up. I was on my back; my vision still focused in and out before finally clearing. I was lying in a bed, in a house, a log cabin, a very well lived in one, judging how the ceiling and corners were slanted and how there was that just fine layer of dust on everything, the kind you can never seem to get rid of. I sighed and turned over on my side, to look around some more, but when I looked I saw two eyes starring back at me. The eyes were connected to a face, a boy not much older than I was at the time; he was smiling wildly at me.
“Hi!” he shouted. My eyes growing wide with shock. I quickly sat up, the covers flying off me. It wasn’t I backed away from him and against the wall that I had noticed that I was nude, save for the bandages that seemed to be everywhere on me. My arms, my legs, my head and my chest, I was young back then and didn’t have anything to hide. I flinched after I moved away, pain was stinging me all over. “You shouldn’t get up so fast, you’re all bandaged up yep, you are.” He said to me his eyes still wide now seeming to be examining me now. He crawled over to where I was, I had no place else to move and I was already in the corner. He stretched out one arm towards me. I turned my head and shut my eyes. I felt his hand touch and stroke over one of my ears, thumbing over it several times. Then a felt his hands examining my tail, squeezing a bit too hard on it at first, that was twitching in his touch, I could hear his giggles too “They look like a kitty’s. I like them.” I turned back to him after hearing his words, that and the smell of cooking eggs and ham had filled my nostrils. I sniffed the air a few times to get in a better scent, my stomach was growling. I could hear his giggles at my actions and my stomach, poking it to hear it growl again. “You hungry?” he asked. I looked to him, giving a soft nod. He laughed and grabbed me by my hand, pulling me from the bed. I stood up, my legs felt so weak that it was almost impossible for me to keep my balance but soon I was able to. He continued to pull me until he noticed I had nothing to wear. “Lets get you something to wear first.” He let go, walking over to a dresser drawer, opening it and rummaging through it. It wasn’t long before he pulled something out, turning around and holding it out to me, it was just a plan long white shirt, it was long on me anyway. “It’s one of mine but you can wear it for now.” I took the shirt from him and pulled it over my head, he laughed when he saw my ears pop back up after I pulled the shirt down. He took my hand again and rushed me into what I guess was the kitchen, it was where the smells were coming from the strongest, plus, well there was an old, large, portly woman with reddish blonde hair standing over a stove humming some odd tune. “Grandma, look she’s awake.”
The large woman turned around, a smile as wide as the boy’s but it also seemed softer, gentle and loving. Her hair was mostly white but there were black and gray speckled everywhere. She had a big pie face with rosy cheeks. I couldn’t help but smile. She leaned down to me and I got a better look at her and she a better look at me. “So ye finally be awake eh? Do ye know ye been asleep for almost three days.” She had a funny accent, but I loved the way it sounded that made my ears twitched. “Look at ye ears,” she said taking a quick gaze over them. “I don’t know what ye even are? Ye ‘ave the body of a ‘uman but the ye’s got ears, tail and big ol’ wide expression filled eyes just like a cat. Where ye from dear? And there’s no need to look so scared me dear.” I leaned my head to one side, trying to remember where I came from, only darkness came up and a shrugged for my answer. “Ye don’t know where ye from? Must be from that nasty bump on the ‘ead ye got there. What about ye parents, do ye know where they are?” I could only shake my head, I couldn’t remember that either. “What about ye name? Do ye know that?” I opened my mouth about to answer, I knew that one, I thought I did, but, I couldn’t even remember my own name and I fell silent once more. “Ye don’t know ye name. ‘ow about ye age? Or do ye not know that either?”
I opened my mouth again I knew that one at least. “Six” I said weakly, my voice was so horse and sore.
“That’s how old I am yep.” The boy said.
I could also hear my stomach growl again, and I covered it with one hand to quiet it down. I heard the old woman and the boy laugh and my ears lowered with embarrassment. “S…sorry.”
“My goodness forgive me dear, you standin’ ‘ere just a starving and ‘ere I am just talkin’ away like it ain’t nothin’. ‘aven even introduced meself either. I’s be Elissa, and that’s me grandson Anthony, ‘is parent was kilt in a war so ‘e lives with me now. So can ye, not knowin’ where ye from or where ye parents are gives us nothin’ to go on. If ye like ye can stay, ‘least until we find out more about ye. ”
“Thank you.” I said bowing my head slightly.
The old woman nodded and turned back to her cooking once more. “Breakfast will be done in just a minute. Anthony, take our guest out back and get ye’selves washed up.”
“Yes Grandma.” Anthony responded taking me by the hand again. “C’mon, this way.” He pulled me towards the front door and opening it. He pulled me with him outside. It was so bright that I had to shield my eyes with a hand but the landscape was so beautiful, flowers and trees for miles around. It was place that no one could hate. Anthony led me behind the house, pointing to a large lake when we stopped. It too was like nothing I had ever seen, or least what I had remembered I’d seen. Clear blue water that you could see the stardust like scales of the fish. Who ever plotted this house definitely knew what they were doing. I looked back to Anthony watching him take off his pants and shirt, jumping into the water with a loud splash. He motioned me over and I did what he as he had done, removing that long shirt I had and walking into the water. “My grandma is so nice, yep she is. We found you out cold near the house, you were all scratched up and bloody and burned, we didn’t even know if you were still alive.” I turned to Anthony as he spoke listening to him attentively. This was the first time I had actually looked at Anthony, a scruffy kid with long chestnut brown hair that was held back in a ponytail. His eyes were a soft green. His face always seemed dirty even though I watched him wash it myself. His skin a deep tan, his body was well defined for a kid his age, I’m sure it was from him always helping out his grandmother. I looked down at myself in the water’s reflection. I was a pale milk white, bright yellow-green eyes, my hair was black, cut short all around except for two sides that were long. It was like I was looking at myself for the first time. “So you don’t have a name do you?” my head came up at his question then my eyes lowered in shame.
“I have one,” I responded, “I just…can’t remember what it is.” I let out a sigh. How can someone forget their own name?
“Well if you don’t mind I can give you one, just until you can remember your own again.” Anthony offered. I smiled, no one can live his or her life just being referred to as the nameless girl forever.
“I would like that.” I said to him wanting to be tickled by the names that he may come up with.
“How about Kitty?”
“No I don’t like that.”
“Um, what about Rose?” Anthony was looking at a rose from the nearby flowerbed.
“No, I really don’t like that one too much.”
“Lilly….”
“What you say?”
“I said Lilly.”
“Lilly…” I said to myself “Lillian…Lillia.”
“Oh I like that.”
“Then its official. My name from now on is going to be Lillia.”
Smiling to myself I thought about the new name Anthony and I had created for me. For some odd reason I liked the name a lot and I knew for sure it was not my real one, but it seem to fit me. My thoughts were soon interrupted by a harsh splash of cold water against my face, I quickly turned to the direction of the splashed water where I found Anthony pointing and laughing at me. “That wasn’t funny!”
“Yes huh.” Anthony shouted splashing water in my direction again that I quickly blocked as best I could. With a playful growl I scooped up the cool water with my hand splashing it back at him, laughing happily with him. We went on like this for I don’t know how long. Elissa poked her head out one of the kitchen windows towards us.
“Will ye two stop playin’ around? Ye breakfast is gettin’ cold it.” I could hear the chuckle in Elissa voice.
“But Grandma, me an’ Lillia where haven’ some fun we was.” Anthony said in our defense.
“Lillia? Who’s Lillia?” Elissa’s head turned her head to me with a smile “Did ye remember ye name dear?”
“No Ma’am. Me and Anthony made it up just now.” I responded, feeling my cheeks grow flushed with embarrassment.
“Well the name fits ye dear, now ‘urry up an’ wash ye’selves so we can eat.”
“Okay Grandma” Anthony said while he swam over to the water’s edge and picked up a cloth and a bar of hand made soap. “Grandma makes everythin’ from her garden this kind not hurt the fish.” I nodded to Anthony’s statement watching him lather up and wash over his face more thoroughly this time, his face still seeming scruffy. After he had washes himself he handed the soap and cloth to me. “Just did what I did.” I nodded repeating his actions until a got to my back I couldn’t reach it at all. Anthony laughed at me and took the cloth and soap. “Turn around.” I did so; I felt the cloth against my back, smooth yet kind of itchy all at the same time. “See just like this.”
Two years went by and it was just like I had always lived with this family. Grandmother Elissa would teach Anthony and me from home. And every few days we’d head into town to order meat and cloths that would be sent to us at home. Elissa had a friend in town that adored her and would do anything for her just to get her attention. Everything else Grandma made from home, the garden was full of so many lovely things, tomatoes, lettuce, beans and pees, everything and so many flowers that it would take days for me to name them all. Anthony and myself would help her work in the garden in the day and we’d watch her make clothes and tell us bedtime stories at night. The market place was always full of people. At first they all looked at me funny but it stopped after mother shared a few choice words with a man and his while Anthony was fighting his son, who threw a rock at me and pulled on my tail. Everyone said that grandmother had the strength of twenty men, that day I saw that strength in action, and grandmother left the man in so many bumps and bruises he looked like he had caught the mumps.
I was happy; I almost didn’t want to remember my past because my present here was so peaceful with two people who loved me. I would play with Anthony, hide and seek, tag, anything our imaginations thought of, we even played a game where we hit a rock with at stick, that was until Anthony swung the rock right into my head and gave me a large bruise, then Elissa made us stop. I never wanted those days to end, but like the saying goes. Good things must come to an end, mine just ended too soon. One night as we were eating dinner, I remember there was a horrible storm that night, thunder that lit up the sky the rain poured down in buckets like grandmother said. We heard several harsh pounds on our door. Grandmother Elissa threw down her napkin “ ‘ho the ‘ell can this be in this dreadful weather?” She stood up waddling over to the door to see who it was. “Who is it?” she asked. She pressed her ear to the door to hear for the response. She looked out from the side window seeing several ragged men standing outside.
“Please m’lady we are but humble travelers in need of food and shelter for the night.” Was the answer of one of the men. Being kind harted as Grandmother was, she opened the door to let the travelers in, that’s when all hell broke lose. The second grandmother had cracked the door the men burst in, there must have been about four or five of them storming inside first trying to restrain grandmother who was putting up quite a struggle, she has broken free of them and proceed to fight. She held a burning log from the oven fire and the iron skillet she had used to cook out meal. Anthony and me had quickly hid under the table, being guarded by the translucent tablecloth.
“Get out of me ‘ouse this instant!” Grandmother shouted as loud as a mad bull, brandishing both items the kitchen curtains catching on fire. She put up a wonderful fight that any warrior would have been proud of, she had smack two of the intruders in the head with the skillet, one was running around screaming after Grandmother had set fire to his crotch. “I’s will not be repeaten’ meself again. Get the ‘ell out of me ‘ouse!” For an old woman Grandmother Elissa was strong and spirited. Must have been from all the work she did with the garden. Sadly, her strength was not enough this time as it had been in the past. From behind she was stabbed through, blood dripping down her mouth. Her eyes were wide and she coughed up blood. Anthony and I were watching from our hiding place under the table, we had watched out beloved grandmother’s defeat, our faces being splashed with her crimson blood. “Run…” she uttered “Remember what I always…tell ye…ye…must always be free…no mater…how…be free…..” those were grandmother’s last words. The skillet and log dropped from her hands and onto the floor, the log rolling near the wall slowly catching it on fire. One of the men looked under the table where we were, his crooked smile and a bruised face gleaming at us.
“Here you are little ones.” He said with a chuckle. He reached out for us but Anthony punched him hard in the nose, causing him to topple over and onto his rear holding his nose in pain. “You stupid son of a…I think he broke my nose.”
“Run!” Anthony cried grabbing me by the wrist, both of us making a mad dash out of the slowly burning cabin. We had no idea where we were going. I could see perfectly in the dark so I led while Anthony followed. Through the brambles and thorns we ran, it ripped away at the pants and peasant blouse with an embroidery made into wings on the back that Elissa had made for me. I could hear the men shouting behind us, they barked and howled like wolves chasing the hunt, and we were the deer. Anthony and I kept running that was until we came to the river, the current was much to fast to cross and the men were still coming, we were trapped. We tried running along the riverside, trying to get to a place where perhaps the river wasn’t so swift, but we had no such luck. When tried to go back the men had already caught up with us and it seemed our time had run out. Anthony jumped in front of me, grabbing a large rock, and readying himself as best he could in the dark. “Go away! Leave her alone!” He shouted to the man first to reach us, throwing the rock and hitting him in the forehead.
“Bloody hell!” He shouted falling to the floor holding his head in pain. “Damnable boy!” Anthony leaned back down trying to fine another rock but unable to find another as big, he substituted it with a large stick, swinging it to the best of his ability. The remaining men were able to dodge him easily.
“Ok boy give us the girl and we won’t hurt you.” Another man said pointing to me with a long finger, but Anthony kept swinging hard and faster. It happened as fast as the thunder clap in the sky, the man who was hit with a rock regained himself, drawing his blade, a dagger, he slipped slightly then ran towards us, he stabbed Anthony in the side. My friend, my brother died as Elissa had. “You idiot! We weren’t suppose to kill anyone but perhaps the old woman, we were to get in, take the girl and get out.” I held Anthony close to me, tears running down my face and cheeks, mixing with Elissa and Anthony’s blood, crying bloody tears. I dashed toward them, blinding furry taking over me, I lunged for one of them but another one of the men grabbed me from behind yanking me down to the ground his body restraining mine. I screamed and tried to get away as best as I could be something hit me behind my neck and I lost conciseness. I could see a hazy vision of the cabin burning as they carried me away in a horse and cart.
“He better pay us good for this little bitch, it was way too much trouble getting her.” I could hear someone say. Then it all became just mutters.
The only family I ever knew was dead and I was being taken away, to who knows where to have who knows what happen to me. Why couldn’t they have just killed me too? I was rudely awakened by someone grabbing me by the back of my hair, lifting my head up. My eyes flew open, gasping in pain while I was being jerked around looked just in time to see money being handed off. Then my eyes shifted into the ugly black eyes of a fat, ugly with black uncombed greasy hair that it looked like he never washed. He was starring at me with an ugly crooked toothed smile. “Hello there little one. I paid good money to get you, you darling little thing. You better not cause me any trouble. You’re mine now, so if you want us to get along you will do exactly as I say.” He said gruffly his hand gripping tighter at my head.
“You. You were the one who killed my family!” I lunged at him my hands wrapped around his throat my nails digging deep into him. He smacked me harshly in the face, knocking me back. I hit my head against a cold hard stone wall. I held my head in pain whimpering. “You took me away from my home? You killed Anthony and Elissa, why? Who are you?”
“Why? You ask me why I took you away from that so called family my dear?” The man asked me a sly grin on his face as he walked towards me. “Maybe first I should tell you my name. I am Damien…I will be your master Lillia. And I took you away because my dear, I wanted you.” He leaned over me, grabbing my chin with his thumb and index finger. His eyes looked solely on me. I could see myself in their frightening pools.
“What do you mean you want me?” I asked. I could feel my voice tremble, my whole body even. I wanted to run away but I couldn’t move, he was holding me to hard. That’s when he kissed me with his slimy lips. It made my skin crawl and my tail stick straight out.
“You didn’t know did you? Elissa was in great debt to me and ever since the day I had seen you in the market with your ‘family’ I wanted you. Elissa tried her best to repay me but in the end and she failed. In trade she was to give me you, but she broke the deal and this is just what had to happen, know this, I always get what I want, no matter what.” Damien said to me with narrowed eyes.
“You’re a sick monster.”
“And you are my slave.” Damien looked over me, touch my shirt and tracing out what was left of the embroidery of Elissa’s wings. “I will miss the old girl’s sewing I will. But time heals all wounds and time will make you fall for me little Lillia.”
“I will never fall for you.” I snapped my jaws at him shaking my head to free my face from his sweaty clutches. When I had he slapped me again, a large red mark appearing on the side of my face.
Damien stood up and reached at something from his belt side that was hidden in shadows, the flame’s light in the dark hellhole was not able to show me what it was until I felt in against my body. With a loud crack a whip had smacked me against my back, sending pain rushing through my entire being. The crack sounded again and again harder and hard with each one. I was crying, I could see his eyes were mad with desire and enjoyment, he loved every minute of my pain and screams. “You will learn to obey me Lillia or else you will suffer this every time.”
I couldn’t move, I was in so much pain. He lifted me up in his arms, I watched us go up several flights of stairs he dropped me off in a room. “This will be your room.” He told me. It had a four poster bed, soft silk and linen sheets. There were dolls and toys all over the place, things any eight-year-old girl would want to play with. He left already a new set of clothes on a chair for me. He had left my room and returned with a bottle of iodine that he places all over the whip marks on my body muttering how sorry he was for whipping me, nothing but lies.
The next day I found myself in the covers of the bed, dressed in a black top with some sort of wings protruding from the back, there was a triangle area cut out from the throat, long puffy sleeves and high neck line. The dress was long that it covered down to my ankles that were covered by black leggings and boots. I saw him sitting at the edge of the bed smiling at me.
“Lets go Lillia we’re going into town today.” Damien said, patting my lap.
What could I do I had to obey. “Yes master.” I said sliding out of bed and standing at the other end. I tried to escape that day trying to get lost in the crowed of people but Damien easily found me hiding in an ally way. For my punishment he took me to a tattooists having him carve a long black heart on the left side of my face, the pain was almost unbearable, the strapped me down to keep me from leaving. “You bastard I” cried, choking back tears of pain and anger.
“You will never be able to leave me with that my darling Lillia.” Damien said rubbing my ears at the tattoo was slowly imbedded into my skin. “You will look so wonderful Lillia…looking like you’re crying your love to me.”
Everyday was hell. Years passed by slowly there. I was still taught from home but I no longer was allowed to go outside to market. I was taught to serve him, to cook, to clean, and to bathe him, to set out his clothes and welcome him when he came home. I never knew what sort of work he did frankly I didn’t care what so ever.
They say thirteen is an unlucky number, they were right. It was when I turned thirteen was when I learned what Damien truly wanted me for, my body. Every night I would be called to his room or he would enter mine and remove my clothes from my body and, use me for his pleasures, be it just to feel my soft milk white skin, or to use me for his own sexual pleasures. That was until the day my body snapped inside and stopped feeling anything, my emotions were shattered. I could no longer feel him, my eyes no longer expressed the fear and pain of what was happening to me and he’d beat me the next morning for it. All day he’d beat me, when the sun went down he’d tend to my wounds and at night he’d use me all over again. It became a horrible cycle.
This torment continued until one winter night, it was a harsh blizzard, one that I had never seen before in my life. It was a night that Master Damien was too tired to roll his fat body on mine, he was complaining about his work while I had to message his back. There was a crash from the balcony window in the living room where we were.
Our heads turned to find a young boy just perhaps a bit older than I was. He was standing before us a smile on his face.
His hair was a dark brown held back in a long ponytail. He dashed towards master a dagger at his throat, drawing blood, I was already starting to enjoy his suffering.
“Take whatever you want, please don’t hurt me.” Master Damien begged for his life like an old dog against a wolf. He didn’t care who died.
That boy was on a mission his mission it seemed was me. With ease he slipped past Master and was behind me restraining my arms behind my back.
“L…let go of me.” I said to him growling in anger. I was sick and tired of being the object of everyone’s desire. I was sick of always being taken away during storms.
“Lillia let her go!” Master Damien tried to stop the boy pulling his shit right off of him. The boy dashed off holding me in front of him like a shield.
“Stay back and your slave will be fine.” The boy snapped while making his way to the balcony. He jumped off with me having what seemed an easy landing, I didn’t know how he did it, I was too busy screaming. I could hear Damien screaming down to us the whole way down.
“Lillia no matter where you go I will find you remember that. I will get you back Lillia!”
“There you see you’re safe now honey. Don’t listen to that idiot.”
“What the hell do you all want from me?”
“Look sweetie. I saw what that man does to you, I watched you for a while and I..”
“Yes well a lot seem to watch me now don’t they?”
“Look. I know you didn’t enjoy it there. I wanted to help you. I did what I had to do now you do what you want.” He started to walk off when I noticed he had a scar on his side, just like Anthony had.
“Wait!”
“What do you want?”
“That scar where did you get it?”
“From the men who attacked me, killed my grandmother and stole away someone important to me. Funny, she kind of looked like you.”
“Do you remember her name?”
“Li…Lu…. I really can’t I hit my head on a rock after my fall, I can’t remember details.” So it seemed that there were more like me out there. He couldn’t be Anthony, I know he was killed he was way too young to have survived an attack like that.
“You are a thief are you not?”
“I am. So I can find the men who took away my family and home. What are you going to do?”
“Do you travel a lot?”
“We do.”
“Maybe I could find who I am…or was if I became a thief as well.”
“Doesn’t hurt to try. Like my motto goes ‘to be free, for some you have to steal freedom its self’”
“Sounds like something to live by. What’s your name?”
“Morrow.”
“That your real name?”
“Nope. Going to find that out too. Morrow is my thief name. You’ll need one too. How about Lilu since I can’t find who I’m looking for and maybe one day it’ll be remember. Besides Lillia is no name for a thief and that crazy man will be able to find you easy if you use your real name.”
“ Its not my real name, I don’t know what it is but, Lilu…I like it.”
“Lilu it is. Lets get out of this storm and back to my headquarters to sign you up. Kitty.”
I gave Marrow a quick smack in the back of the head my eyes narrowing “Never call me kitty.” I said gruffly.
“That hurt damn it.” Marrow said rubbing his head, checking it for blood. “Fine I won’t call you Kitty Lilu. But its cold your master has my shirt lets go quickly.

***

It was less than year since the day I became a thief and Marrow and I were already rank two of the best thieves ever known. No one could touch us no one could ever find evidence that we were at the crime scenes at all. Money jewels, precious artifacts, once we even stole a baby that was stolen by another thieves guild. So headquarters gave us the one mission no one in our guild could ever complete and still be alive or not rotting in the jail. Some wouldn’t even dare take the mission at all, said you’d have to be crazy to do it. Looked like Marrow and me were the craziest ones of them all. Bring me to where I am now in my life.
"So in the end, to be free you have to steal freedom its self." Morrow said to me with a small sigh looking down from the hill edge, sizing up the prince's castle we were to raid. "Think we're doing the right thing? We could get killed." I looked to him grinning. Both of us hardly at the ages of fourteen and already rank the best thieves ever known in our time.
"A wise man once told me 'For some, to steal is the way to be free'" I said looking down to him, he to me both of us sharing a laugh together. Two people, one trying to find her past, the other trying to find the one men who destroyed his. Connected by the tapestry of fate. "Time to go Morrow." with that said I started to head down the hill into the village under the name of Lilu to relieve the prince of his crown, Morrow following behind.