STAR BORED - A New Joke: Images 1 to 50.

Here's an old 1997 fanart of a Tiny Toon/Star Wars paordy then later in 2002 I typed up a fanfic story that goes with the art works..

Act One.



A short time ago in a galaxy just around the corner...



STAR BORED

Episode IV
Chapter XI
Issues XX
Volume VII
Number III
Paragraph I

A NEW JOKE


It is a period of spoof, satires and parodys. A small groups of idiot Rebels have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire (a.k.a. Time Warner).

During the battle, the idiots had managed to steal secret plans to the Hurt Star, two CD players, a naked picture of Ernest Borgnine, a book of "How Not to Steal Things", two cups of water a half cup of milk and a box of Rice-A-Roni.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents the IRS, Princess Babs hops aboard her starship Titanic and races home to catch the last episode of Friends and try to save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...



Imperial Captain: Incredible! Our ship goes faster then the speed of light, and our guns fire almost as fast as the speed of light!
Imperial Pilot: Yeah.. so guess what happened! We shot ourselves down!!
Imperial Captain: What?! You mean to tell me that the in-flight movie is a coyote chasing a roadrunner up a hill?!?
Imperial Pilot: What do you expect on a seven second flight..."The Godfather"?

Rebel Troop: How high up into space would you say this goes?
Rebel Captain: Quiet You! I'm about to say a prayer before we go into battle...Our Father Who Art Below Us In Heaven-
Rebel Troop: That high, huh?

Duck Trooper: (Knock-Knock) Pizza Delivering.
Rebel Soldier: We didn't order any Pizza here?!
Duck Trooper: Ah...Mail man.
Rebel Soldier: Sorry but we get e-mail!
Duck Trooper: Flowers, we got flowers here for you.
Rebel Soldier: Hey are you those Evil Empire guys that are trying to destroy everything good and sweet in the galaxy?!?
Duck Trooper: Aaahh... ah. Mail man-
Rebel Soldier: YOU SAID THAT ALREADY!


Duck Trooper One: Hey, clue me in... How do we tell the Good Guys form the Bad Guys around here, anyway?!
Duck Trooper Two: Simple! The one who are dressed in Whites are Bad! And the one who are dressed in Blacks are Good!
Duck Trooper Two: Yeah but if us Bad Guys are in White, and the Good Guys are in Black...what's our Leader doing dressed in Black...?
Duck Trooper One: You may not believe this, but he hasn't changed his costume in 20 years! It stared OUT white, but with all his dirty work...

Creep-P-O: Oh man! All this shooting and killing! Tell me Bar-Stool Me-Too..have we accidentally stumbled into New York City in the year 1977? Oh-oh... here comes our cute and cuddly heroine, Princess Babs Ohcomeon fleeing for her life from Imperial soldiers! Just like in the old Flash Gordon movies!
Bar-Stool: BURP-BLIP-BLOOP! BEEDEEP!-BOOP!-TWEET!
Creep-P-O: Is that so? good thing I understand robot talk! No wait I don't understand robot talk! It's confessing enough in this movie as it is! So for the rest of the film just talk like any other actor in this movie.
Bar-Stool: I though you never ask and who's idea is to make me talk and sound like a BEEPER anyway?

Duck Vader: Let me see now, bunch of dead bodies on the ground, lots and lots of smoke in the air....Hmmm...Maybe I do need a bath!

Princess Babs: Listen, if you guys pass a mailbox, would you mind dropping this in for me? It's the top secret plans! Whatever you do...don't let Lord Duck Vader get his hands on them!
Creep-P-O: Why not?
Princess Babs: His palm are always sweaty... he'll wilt them out of shape!

Duck-Trooper One: Hey there's one of the Rebel now let get her!
Duck-Trooper Two: Oh man thank god that this film isn't in 3D , with that way you have pointed right in front of the screen you would have poke out some eyes out at the first three seats.

Duck-Trooper: She'll be okay. Inform Lord Vader we have a prisoner.

Creep-P-O: We got away, Bar-Stool! So far, so good! The Princess depends us! Our mission must not fail!
Bar-Stool: If we're both robots, Creep-P-O, how come we look so different?
Creep-P-O: Because I happen to be a magnificent, articulate golden Adonis, and you're a sawed-off, incoherent, stupid sack of bolts!
Bar-Stool: I knew there had to be a scientific reason for it!


Duck Vader: Well Princess! At last I have you alone!
Princess Babs: Duck Vader, you've conquered my ship, destroyed my crew, killed off my last tenor,,, butchered and tortured! WHY?
Duck Vader: I wanted to make a strong first impression!
Duck Trooper One: I'll say one thing for Duck Vader! He's GREAT at destroying planets!
Duck Trooper Two: But LOUSY at picking up girls!
Duck Vader: Where are the plans to the space station?
Princess Bas: I don't know what you're talking about, you plastic-faced villain.
Duck Vader: Plastic-faced...! At least my skin can't brake out in Zits like yours!
Duck Troopers: Whooooou!
Duck Vader: you are in my powers, your Royal Fluffy Tail! Return the plans you stole, and I'll make it worth your while!
Princess Babs: You can't bride me, Vader! You forget, I'm fearless and honest and decent and incorruptible!
Duck Vader: Since you refuse to talk, you leave me no choice but to go down on my hand and kneel and say "COME ON! Where are the plans!? I'll be your friend!"
Princess Babs: All right already, You win! I can't stand to see a grown duck crying! It's my only weakness! Very well if you must know, I gave them to a pair of robots!
Duck Vader: What did she say?
Duck Trooper: She said she gave them to a pair of robots.
Duck Vader: YOU GAVE THEM TO A PAIR OF ROBOTS?!
Princess Babs: I never said I was SMART!!


Creep-P-O: This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Bar-Stool! Do you know how HOT it gets inside this robot-suit in the desert?
Bar-Stool: (Whispered to Creep-P-O)
Creep-P-O: Uh-oh...you should have thought of that before we left!

Creep-P-O: Bar-Stool, we seem to lost! Oh great...look what's coming! Fiendish creatures about to tear us limb from limb and commit unspeakable acts of cruelty upon us...!
Jawas: Follow the yellow sand road! Follow the yellow sand road! Follow... follow... follow... follow... Follow the yellow sand road!
Bar-Stool: And then again... there's an outside chance they may be Space Munchkins!


Duck Trooper One: Hey, this escape-pod was used by mechanical robot droids!
Duck Trooper Two: How can you tell?
Duck Trooper One: They left behind empty old cans with straws in them!


Plucky: There are the two new droids I bought to work on our moisture farm, Uncle Ben! Maybe they can tell us how to grow moisture... We've been trying for years! And I know they'll do there best... or my name ain't Plucky Skystalker hero of this movie, chief cook and fun-loving garbage collector...
Uncle Ben: But we need someone who can work an Intergalactic plow!
Creep-P-O: I can work an Intergalactic plow!
Uncle Ben: We need someone who can speak our language...Pookie!
Creep-P-O: I speak Pookie!
Uncle Ben: And we need someone who isn't lazy... someone who's not afraid of hard work 24 hours a day seven days a week! Someone who can fight off mosters, giant robots and man eating aliens!
Creep-P-O: I speak Pookie!

End of Act One.