Megas XLR- Jamie Dynamite
Calico's comments: Napoleon Dynamite has to be my favorite movie of all time cause it;s so original and it's waaay to funny x3 After watching the first episode of Megas XLR (which I have on DVD btw) I saw Jamie when he was younger and pondered to myself "Jamie would make a great Napoleon? He's so nerdy when he was younger x3" So tada!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Megas XLR or Napoleon Dynamite (but it'd be so cool if I did
) So don't sue my ass off. I'm poor o.o
WARNING!! EXTREME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE!!!!
JAMIEOLEON DYNAMITE
Chapter 1- Current Events
A scrawny kid stood outside of his old vintage house. His messy black hair caught on his glasses as the wind played his shirt. He pushed up his glasses with his middle finger, then opened up the plastic binder that he carried. Satisfied with the secret he kept locked away in it, he closed it back up, hearing the rattling school bus scraping against the dirt road. He flipped his hair back as the wind picked up. The bus slowed to a stop, and opened it's dirt stained doors. He gratefully jumped in, making his way to the back, avoiding the tiny children who played in the hall of the bus. He managed to get to the back, and plopped his butt on the hard leather cushion seats of the bus.
"What'cha going to do today Jamie?" A dark skinned kid, with glasses asked him.
"Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!!!" Jamie said angrily, he quickly darted his head to the side while saying it, his shaggy black hair in his face. Jamie carefully opened his binder, and pulled out a toy army man, about 6 inches in height, and unraveled the string that was attached to him. The dark hair kid stared at him, scratching his spiky black hair. Jamie struggled to unlock the bus window, using all his might to pry the little locks. When he succeeded, he sat back down. He looked cautiously around, looking to see if anyone was looking at him. Satisfied with his search, he flung the army man out the window, holding tightly onto the string. He looked around, as the kid looked out the back of the bus' window and watched the army man, jumping across the pavement, as seemingly to try to keep up with the bus. He looked back at Jamie, then looked up to the front, nodding his head in disapproval, but still trying to stifle giggles.
~
Jamie sat in the small desk, trying to perfect his drawing of unicorns and ligers.
"Your current event Jamie!" the teacher snapped at him. Jamie groaned, and he slapped his binder shut, and made the slow walk to the front of the room. He took a deep breath, and began his current event.
"Last week, Japanese scientists explaced" He coughed, clearing out his throat "-placed explosive detonaters at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water." A few people giggled at this, Jamie glared at them, and got back to the subject. "Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland;s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and it's local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally."
~
In P.E. was open gym outside. Jamie immediately ran over to the tether balls. He grunted as he hit the ball with all it's might, making it just barely make it around. Jamie got ahold of the ball, and hit it with as hard as he could, sending it flying around the pole. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes." He repeated as he successfully hit the ball.
~
Jamie changed his clothes, the popular jocks crowding around him, wanting to ask a few questions.
"Hey Jamie, what'd you do last summer again?" The brown eyed, blonde hair handsome jock said to him.
"I told you. I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines."
"Did you shoot any?"
"Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would YOU do in a situation like that?!"
"What kind of gun did you use?"
"A fricken 12-gage! What do you think?!" He angrily chirped at them.
~
A random bully decided to attack Jamie while he was at his locker. He grabbed ahold of Jamie by the neck, and held his head between his arms, rapidly jerking him to and fro.
"You think you're funny? Just watch your step."
"But I didn't-" Jamie's words got cut off as he moaned in pain as the bully threw him against his locker.
~
Jamie brushed off the bruises and the pain, as he managed to walk over to the attendence office.
A sharp looking old lady sat at the desk.
"Hey, could I use your guys's phone for a sec?"
"Is there a problem?" The old lady looked over he glasses looking directly at the shaggy hair nerd.
"I don't feel very good." Jamie grunted. The old lady pushed over the phone as Jamie picked it up, quickly dialing his number as fast as he could. He walked over where the old hag couldn';t see him and talk in private. His older brother Bob grated cheese, carefully getting the right amount to make his nachos perfect. The phone rang, Bob reluctantly gave up his beloved nachos to pick up the phone. "Hi."
"Is Grandma there?"
"No, she's getting her hair done."
Jamie sighed, a little irked.
"What do you need?" Bob asked, wondering what his brother needed.
"Can you just get her for me?"
"I'm really busy right now."
"Well tell her to come get me!"
"Why?"
"'Cause I don't feel very good."
"Well have you talked to the school nurse?"
"No! She doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?"
"No."
"Well, will you do me a favor then?"
"What?"
"Can you bring me my chapstick?"
"No Jamie."
"But my lips hurt real bad!!!"
"Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, 5 sticks in her drawer."
"I'm not going to use hers you sicko!"
"See ya." Bob said. He hung up the phone, tired of the stupid conversation, and went back to give some more lovin to his nachos.
"Gah! IDIOT!" Jamie yelled out of anger. His day couldn't get any worse.
~ To be continued.
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