Hubert P. Houndbottom, Distinguished Gentleman

"I was going for my morning constitutional, and this chap slowly starts following me along my route! I was certain I was being followed by this individual, so I started slowing down, and he came up beside me. At this juncture I felt it prudent to deliver upon this fellow a blow of utmost alacrity, bowling him clean over, and splitting the poor sap's lip wide open! I told him he'd not have had to endure that if he had been a little less conspicuous in his venture, and to try harder in the future. Then, without a second thought, I resumed my route."

ps. it's supposed to read "and Pompous minutes".