I Miss Myself

I Miss Myself

I miss myself, as a whole; as a human.
Watching a life that wasn't mine.
I see now that all I can do is move on.
Stuck on a rock surrounded by death.
I fear the light, that I wish to respect.
I indulge myself in dark pleasures that only exist in my mind.
Me, myself, besides them I sit.
Conversing in a static tone.
My stomach twists as my heart beats out of my chest.
I watch my lungs burst as I hold my breath.
I sit here waiting and talking like a radio show host.
But it's just a phase because I'm really a ghost.
Reading books but gain no knowledge.
My brain spits out words but not my own.
I speak what I say but think what I mean.
An anger harbored beneath kindness.
Sometimes wishing I was a bomb so I could go off.
I do not wish to fight, or argue.
Peace of my confusion keeps me back.
Like a cloud drifting so do I.
I miss myself, why wont I come back?
Was I ever really there?
Maybe, I will just fade into society and never be me.
Always a shell, always what everyone wants.
I've forgotten my head a long this road.
I may not remember, but I can try to start new.
I miss myself sometimes, but it's gone now, so I guess this is goodbye.