P u l s e . (( part twelve ))

by Imperial Obsession

in Pulse

P u l s e . (( part twelve ))

Ba-bump.



I can’t see anything anymore, not even black. Black is still a color, and maybe would have been a relief right about now. But no, I don’t see black; all I see is nothing. No light, no color. Blank nothingness. There’s not even any pain left to agonize over except intangible heartache. I mentally call, crawl, claw for a sign of life. For a hint of vibrance --


Ba-bump. Ba-bump.



Aleta. There’s too many things I want to say to you.



Ba-bump. Ba-bump.



-- For sunshine. For a memory. If there are more memories, then it’s not over yet. This can’t be it. I can’t have just flashed through my life so quickly. Fate can’t be that cruel. I must still have another minute. Another few seconds --


Ba-bump.



“Don’t leave me, Logan. Please. Don’t leave me here alone.”


Ba-bump.



I don’t want to. I wish I had more time.


-- Another heartbeat, or maybe a pulse.





That’s all I want.
More time.












“So do you believe in Fate, ‘leta?”

“I dunno. What’s that?”

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Oct 25th 2009
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final logan pulse
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It's done.

Reflection:
It was difficult writing this, at first, but as soon as I changed it to first-person present tense, it actually wasn't so bad. Logan's one of my more natural characters to write, and playing him through his moments of weakness was one of my most liberating writing experiences so far.
I cried. Several times.
This wasn't my best work. Logan's a somewhat generic character. But at the same time it was probably better that Logan was so generic -- it's easy to relate to him, even if I hadn't experienced /any/ of the memories that he's gone through over the course of Pulse. I had to do a hell of a lot of roleplaying just to push through this seriously; actually more than I usually do. I imagined a day without my parents, taking care of my sister on my own -- and multiplied it by 18 years. Nearly had a heart attack just thinking of it.
And to think that I have to write this scene out again during NaNoWriMo? I can't tell whether or not I'm looking forward to it. I just don't know.

Comments

pur plec loud Says:

Llllllluhhhhhluhhlogan...

;______________________;

I like that you wrote this scene from his perspective...it makes it so much deeper.

2 Replies

Candless Says:

[Re-post in case you didn't get this, because I was stupid again:]

;___________;

Wow. I love that you took up his perspective and wrote all of this - not only is it adorable/sad/fascinating, but it helps the fangirl mourning process, I think. Lovely job!

And your process for writing this is interesting - thanks for sharing. =)

1 Reply