I promised a promise...

I promised a promise...

I promised a promise I promised not to break,
And yet in the end I broke that promise and left it in my wake.
Tears they fell down my porcelain face
As I wept and wept into my favorite rose colored vase.

No one understood why I broke the promise I promised not to break,
But I understood why I broke that promise I said I would not break.
There was this friend of mine you see,
And we made promises to each other that we’d stop harming ourselves on purpose under our notions of finally, being set free.

You see though this is where my sad story comes into play,
My friend was not true to his word you could say.
He promised a promise to me that was not true,
A promise that could not be easily seen through.

He vowed not to drink and smoke any longer for he would pass if he continued to do so;
I promised to not cut and starve myself any longer for I would die if I continued thinking of myself as that low.
My friend he gave me a vase that was engraved with my favorite flower,
I love roses you see and he engraved and painted black roses into it and said that it would give me power.

I believed that the vase would be a reminder to me of what it is like to live and see beauty,
But sometimes I thought that itd be so easy just to end it all, even if I never saw beauty again, I’d at least finally escape this world full of cruelty.
I didn’t break my promise though for it was a promise I had tended to keep,
For I didn’t want to be known as an oath breaker who couldn’t be trusted even in some ones sleep.

He promised a promise he had promised to keep to her and me,
But he didn’t keep the promise he’d promised to keep even when we both did plea.
Rage was what I felt boiling up within me as I found out he had not stayed true to our oath,
A never ending heat that refused to be held within myself until it was given a chance to consume me an him both.

Ah, that promise I’d promised not to break
Was slowly crumbling in my wake.
What was I to do to help a friend having troubles keeping his promise,
When in the end his broken promise would more then likely be his demise?

He would not listen to me the one with reason,
For to him I was nothing and he didn’t think of treason.
My poor pathetic friend he just wanted to die,
Even if he had to do so by the power of lies.

I broke the promise I promised not to break,
For everything around me was shattered in his wake.
He broke the promise he promised to keep,
But he broke that promise and in the end he did leap….

He went to the cliff which was our favorite place to meet,
But he didn’t want to see me that day, nor did he want to even act sweet.
He was disgruntled about so many things he just wanted to disappear forever,
Said he didn’t want me to suffer anymore not like he did, never.

I demanded to know why he broke the promise he promised to keep to me,
And in the end all he said was that I would soon see.
I asked him why he would go back to his old habits,
He said it was because he didn’t want to be like caged anymore like some pathetic pet rabbit.

Taking a swig from his flask of stolen whiskey he looked back at me and told me yet another tangible lie,
Don’t worry, Cas, you won’t need to cry for me because I will finally, be able to fly away into the sky.
He would be like the birds he had always longed to be,
My friend so dear to me would now be free.

That is when he smiled a smile so sad it did indeed make me weep,
And as I wept that is when he took the final steps to his down fall and that was when he did leap.
Leap my friend did off that cliff and into the icy depths of that ocean,
And here I thought that he’d keep his promise,but now I see that that was just some silly little notion.

I promised a promise that I’d promised to him and many that I would not break,
Yet in the end I did and left the shattered promise and people in my wake.
I took the razor I had kept hidden and pressed it into my skin
No one ever came to check on me and I will forever live with the sin.

The razor sliced through my skin so nicely and I watch as a ruby red river came and flowed
Down my arm and onto the white and black tiled floor of the otherwise ordinary bathroom the one that should have saved me from this fate never showed.
He never came because he was dead and I was going to join him in the sky so very soon,
I looked up and out the window at the glorious beauty of the rising harvest moon.

I shut my eyes and let myself drift away on the lonesome river of death.
No one would come and get me for I didn’t need saving for it was my time to leave this world and breathe my last breath.
I ignored the pain as it came and grew and grew,
For I didn’t need to feel anylonger for it was nothing to me as I slowly slipped away and waited to become something anew.

Farewell I said to the ones who didn’t listen to my cries,
Goodbye I whispered to those who believed all of my pathetic lies.
I do not apologize for the promise I promised not to break,
For now I am free and I can leave all of you and this cruel world in my brittle wake…


Jezykia Darke
21.10.09