Rules to survive a zombie apocalypse

Rules to survive a zombie apocalypse

The rules to survive a zombie apocalypse

Rule number:

1. There will always be running

In a world full of zombies the one thing you will want, is to be able to run without losing your breath quickly. The fitter you are the more you will be likely to survive “Survival of the fittest” my survivors.

2. Know your place

If a zombie outbreak occurs you’ll want to know your place in my case there are 3 different types of survivors.

Survivor 1: The brain
If you are fit smart and not too hay ho you’ll find yourself in the top line were you will make all the decisions for a group

Survivor 2: Gods right hand
If your lacking the brains the zombies are less likely to attack you in hope of something to eat, which means your strong and you can’t think straight you will take all orders from the brain think of this as an army…You’re the suicide infantry. With a high chance of living

Survivor 3: Food
If you find your unlucky fat ass in this position…Well there’s not much we can do for you…Some believe the black man dies first…Well…That’s not entirely true. You’d be best to enjoy what’s left of the world because at 6…its dinner time…Hope you like pork chops.

3. Know your enemy

A zombie’s favourite place to go is in a list followed. Number 1 being the worst place to go to.

1. The bathroom
2. The Mall
3. The back seat of a car or vehicle
4. Your relatives/family’s house (Even if they are still alive)
5. Vents or small spaces.

4. Be safe, Not…Zombie…Something…Hmm…

Remember a bullet to the body of a zombie won’t kill him/her Better you aim for the head, or if you can’t aim very well…Remember this “Double tap” this helpful tip could very well save your life one day, better to waste a bullet on a body than on nothing (aiming problems) also…the zombie might get up when you turn your back.

5. Never trust anyone.

For all you know they could have a STD…

6. Be heard not seen.

If you are about to enter a place with tight corners or corridors make a loud noise and wait it out, for all you know behind that corner is a zombie and when he hears you he’s gonna run at you. They aren’t smart enough to hide now are they? What you think they eat brains and then learn!? Pfft this manual is only help tips not this is what you must do, your going to star analysing now!? Idiot that’s step 8!

7. Watch out for closed doors.

Remember if your being chased don’t try to open a closed door! It’s closed for a reason there could be more zombies behind it or if your really not that bright, HELLO!? FYI you’r being chased by a bunch of zombies, your going to stop just for a stupid closed door? Make sure it’s open before attempting to open it or stop to try and open it.

8. Analyse

If you see a zombie that hasn’t noticed you pick up some helpful tips from it, watch how it moves and how it acts then once you’ve mastered it you’ll be like a f**king sangheili with stealth cloaks on. One more thing don’t be an idiot and try it with millions of zombies, try to narrow it all down and find one zombie and if it runs at you shoot it…You never know they don’t learn so maybe you can act like one of them and all that…Couldn’t hurt trying now could it?

9. Anything you can pick up is a weapon

If you find a pencil …Maybe not the best thing to combat a zombie but hay more power to you heh heh, you die…But me I’ll go with a beer bottle or club or anything that I can pick up a brick would work too as long as it does physical damage. It’s a weapon

10. Know the safe zones.

There will always be a safe zone. Find it before you become like survivor 3…Food boy, no one wants to be the next meal for those crazy zombies…

Well thanks for giving my zombie manual a look guys and girls…Also if there are any zombies reading this ignore it all…It has nothing to do with you. Just…Go…Away…Leave us alone…Thanks ^^