Love lost and never gained

Love lost and never gained

Did you ever really know me?
Did you ever truly understand me for me?
We both said those words, "I love you," but did we really truly mean it?
The high school year ended and it was time for us to go our separate ways.

The heartache was real for me but was it as real for you, too?
I'm sorry you had to suffer because of me if you suffered at all.
Finally, though, love, we are free once again healing our 'broken' hearts.
You never did understand the 'special' abilities of mine an never did you ever inquire me about them.

I thought it fine though cause I didn't have the words at the time to explain me for me to you.
You were there and you told me, "I will stay by your side 'til I am no longer needed."
And I said, "And the same goes for you."
Love, I was afraid to lose you and in the end that's exactly what happened.

Inside I wept for days, but outside I just smiled and said, "At least he broke up with me technically instead of me breaking up with him."
No one understood that fully, but you and I did, love, You and I did.
I ask you again why we ever said yes and why we agreed to try when we both knew in the end we would be through.
I ask did we ever truly understand one another as completely or closely as we thought?

My answer to that question is: no.
I think about that question and wonder what your answer would be and I"m sure yours would be the same.
The friend I had now seems so far away from me.
I wish in ways we never even tried to date at all.

You may ask me why and I'd say this, "Cuz we barely talk to each other now and it hurts to have it be this way."
I realize though that if we are meant to be in anyway we'll see each other again soon.
Or we'll talk and work things through in someway and even though things won't be completely the same at least we'll know that we didn't lie about a few things.
And that my love would be this: You never understood me for me, nor I for you as you, but we knew we'd not last long.

Still knowing that we wept in the end when we went down different paths saying our farewells for now.
I really did have feelings for you, but not as completely as you did for me; I think and now I say goodbye to you as we say, "I loved you then, but I won't love you always, but this I shall remember.
You were the one that was lost and then was found and now you're lost again.
Away you go like the wind there one moment and gone the next."

Goodbye, love I shall see you soon in heaven or in Hell?
I won't know until I get there and see either the light or the never ending darkness.
We killed each other by tearing out one another's hearts as if they were loose pieces of thread.
Once again we ask ourselves the question, "Did you ever truly understand me for me? Or did you just see the beauty and assume it'd be better then the last time we were together? 'Farewell angel.' 'Farewell my lost love,' see you in Hell."


Sincerely,
Jezykia Darke.



Goodbye,
G.R.