Ravnica 3: The Chill

Ravnica 3: The Chill

3. Enter Shawn Selesnya

Having been absolutely driven insane by Malcolm’s schemes, for once Boros was intent upon finding Shawn Selesnya and asking for something to get his mind off of his current life. He didn’t go straight back to Caroline as he normally would have if nothing important had happened, because she wouldn’t really get his mind off of it so much as remind him constantly of what will be screwed up by the end of the week. She would see him again, anyway; it was absolutely easy to find someone who wanted to find you.
Shawn Selesnya was another story. Nobody was quite sure what was on that boy’s mind. Sure, Selesnya was a drug addict, but not so much that he wasn’t cohesive. He just needed a little bit to keep his cool. Incidentally, the ‘cool’ thing about Selesnya was the fact that he had everything for sale on a campus that attempted to keep firm restrictions on everything that went on. It seemed like every action was illegal, but Selesnya attempted to keep his rule-breaking under the radar.
Johnny made his way to the back of the school, behind the cafeteria and towards a secluded tree behind the last few classrooms. As he thought, Selesnya was up inside the tree, already high on marijuana.

Selesnya hadn’t really thought hard about how much he was going to smoke that day, he merely took some marijuana out of a bag, subtracted a little from the bunch, settled it in a pipe and smoked it. He wasn’t quite sure how much, or how heavy the drug was going to be. He merely knew that he probably had somewhat of a resistance to it, and that it wasn’t amphetamines, anyway.
Sure, he saw Johnny walk up to him, but he was pretty sure the beetle buzzing around was getting bigger and smaller every second of every minute. It didn’t make any sense, and therefore attracted Shawn’s attention.
Then Johnny broke his silence.
“Shawn!” he called up, almost trying to surprise him.
Boros succeeded, and Selesnya fell off a low branch of the tree onto the ground, on his back. The fall hurt a little, but not that much. Shawn couldn’t help but laugh as he got up into a sitting position and looked up towards Johnny.
“Dude, did you see that beetle?”
Johnny looked perplexed.
“What?”
“Yeah, man. It gets biiiigger and smaaaller and biiiigger and smaaaller. Almost like it’s getting closer and then going away, just…it’s not, it’s…it’s actually getting bigger and smaller.”
Johnny was convinced he was high. He smacked his hands together to grab Shawn’s attention and grinned a little.
“Shawn! I need a favor, man.”
“Okay,” Selesnya got up slowly and slouched a little. The boy was wearing a nice hoodie for a change; a white one with green patterns all over it. Still, looked like he still had that dirty blonde hair that wouldn’t grab any girls. Boros said nothing about it.
“You wouldn’t happen to have any alcohol on you, would ya bud?”
“Yeah, I gotcha. Just gotta-”
Another student showed up in that moment; a skater. It looked as though he were in desperate need of Shawn’s attention.
“Michael, dude…” Shawn grinned. “What’s up?”
“Yo, Shawn. Got any amphetamines on ya? I need to stay awake tonight for a couple games.”
“Yeah, I gotcha, dude, just gotta go check and…have you seen that beetle, dude? I’m lookin’ at it right now, man, look.”
Michael turned to look at the beetle as it smacked into a window, buzzed close to Johnny, then flew off.
“Did you see how big that thing got, man?!” Shawn was almost yelling at Michael. “That thing was as big as my hand, almost!” Shawn lifted his hand to his face to see how big it was, and then flailed back spontaneously. “Dude! My hand’s as big as a bus!”
Michael seemed used to this.
“Yo, Shawn, I kinda need those amphetamines soon.”
Another student found Shawn. Boros threw his hands up in surprise and turned around to face the cafeteria. He was getting nowhere.
“Shawn, Shawn!”
“Yeah?”
“Got any marijuana?”
Shawn smiled.
“Naw, I’m just that high on life, man. High like a tree.” He chuckled, lowly. “High like that beetle, dude, damn-”
“Hey, Shawn, listen man. For band tonight, bring whatever marijuana you’ve got left. We need to get creative and that’s the only way I know how. Got it?”
“Yeah, man, for sure.” Shawn knocked fists with his band mate. “Oh man, Kevin. Imagine if my hand was as big as a bus, dude. I could eat like…ten-pound pancakes with one hand.”
Kevin laughed out loud in that moment and lifted a hand.
“Wait, Shawn. Imagine if somewhere out there, they actually served ten-pound pancakes.”
“Duuuude.” Shawn’s eyes got wide. “Imagine…if like…someone actually was a ten-pound pancake.”
Kevin laughed even louder as he walked off. Michael turned around, just the same as Johnny, and actually attempted to talk to him.
“Is he like this all the time?”
Boros lowered his head.
“Yes.”
Selesnya wasn’t actually listening to either of them at that point. He was intent to watch the beetle some more, while contemplating what it must be like to exist as a pancake. He thought he was thinking to himself, but he was actually speaking out loud.
“Light and fluffy, man…you could like…eat yourself. With syrup and…and bacon…and…and waffles…and french toast…and…chocolate chiiiips…and…and maybe a bagel with some cream cheese…and…and some orange juice…oh yeah, and some butter on the pancake…”
As he rambled on, Johnny sighed once.
“Imagine this guy running our country,” Michael suddenly said. “That would be the dumbest thing ever.”
“People like him enough, and that’s the dumb part.” Johnny turned to see Selesnya still going.
“Butter or margarine or something…on like this light, fluffy pancake…and that’s what you are…light, fluffy, and you could eat yourself…and if I were a chocolate chip pancake, dude, oh…with some ice cold milk…maybe a waffle…some syrup…”
Johnny was getting tired of this.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Shawn.”
“Huh?” Shawn snapped out of it for a second. “Oh, right, alcohol and…and amphetamines, cool. C’mere guys, show you the merch’.”
Shawn brought both of them to the back where they found his backpack; a dusty excuse for a backpack that practically had the marijuana smell leaking from it. Shawn reached into his hoodie pockets for a pair of gloves and used the gloves to reach into the bag. He pulled out a bag of what appeared to be crystal meth, along with a bottle or two of what could have been warm brand vodka. He struggled to get both bottles out with the same hand that dragged out the bag of meth, but he managed to hold them all in one hand.
“Michael, you owe me big…for this stuff. We’re talkin’ hundred…maybe two…because you could sell this for a lot of shit. Thousand, two thousand…know what I’m sayin’?”
“Don’t worry, Shawn, I got this.” Michael snatched the bag from Shawn and made an odd gesture that was like putting up two fingers and pointing them from his eyes to Shawn’s.
“Yeah, well, you’d better. Don’t ruin a good thing, here…”
Michael nodded and rushed off, the bag stuffed quickly inside his pants. Boros took a measured step towards the two bottles of vodka.
“Johnny, I got this stuff, but if it’s too hard, I’ve got uh…whiskey, a beer, I know some dudes like the beer, man, so I grabbed that brand beer. ‘s good enough, I think…some tequila to put you on your ass, for sure…”
“The vodka will work, Shawn. How much I owe you?”
“You give me thirty, you get both these bottles. And that’s a good price, man, sometimes this stuff goes twenty a piece, no lie.”
Johnny nodded once.
“Then I’ll go the thirty, just in case I have another bad day.” Johnny looked into his side jacket pocket for his wallet, brought it out, and took out a new twenty with a new ten. He turned them both over to Shawn, who instantly handed over the bottles of alcohol.
“Don’t go drinkin’ it all at once, Johnny. I know you’re a tough one, but it’s not smart to try and arm-wrestle alcohol.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Johnny took both bottles and shoved them into his inner jacket pockets, large enough for anything, it seemed. “Just need something to get that shithead, Malcolm Dimir, out of my mind.”
“First day of school, you two are at it again, huh?” Shawn shook his head. “Every year.”
“Look, it would all be just fine if he left me alone, all right? I don’t know what his problem is. All’s I know is that every year, he’s had a problem with me being captain of this team, president of this club, favorite of this teacher. Do you know what his problem is?”
“Tell you, Johnny, I haven’t seen Malcolm in person…ever. Just pictures on the top ten for the school’s shit here, picture in the yearbook there…never meet ‘im in person.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot.” Johnny reached into his pocket and opened up one bottle to take a sip. Distasteful, he thought, but it would do its job. He screwed the cap back on and put it away. “Wish I was them.”
“You know what I would do, Johnny?” Shawn stood up, finally, and left his backpack on the floor. He put a comforting hand on Johnny’s shoulder and talked to him. His breath was still thick with pot. “I’d just…ignore the shit out of him. I mean, what’s the worst he could do?”
Johnny rolled his eyes and shuffled away from Shawn.
“Dude, by the end of next week, I’ve got herpes or I’m not on any school team.”
“…dude, you have herpes by the end of next week?” Shawn seemed sincerely surprised. “Got with the wroooong girl this time, Johnny, let me tell ya…wroooong girl.”
“No, I don’t have herpes, Shawn. It’s something Malcolm’s making up to make me look like an idiot.
“Yeah, yeah sure, Johnny. Yeah, you don’t have herpes and I’m high all the damn time, sure.” Shawn swayed in place and shook a finger at Johnny. “I think we both know that I’m not high that much of the time, Johnny. I’ve seen you with a new girl each week.”
“Oh Christ.” Johnny shook his head and looked up into the sky. Without much effort, he pointed up into it. “There’s that beetle again.”
Shawn was about to look up towards the beetle when it brought back another idea.
“Oh man, pancakes. Ten pound pancakes with waffles, chocolate chips, maple syrup, and orange juice with milk on top.”
“There we go.” Johnny turned and walked away, pockets filled with vodka.
Meanwhile, Shawn continued to amuse himself.
“…damn, I’m really hungry.”