Mommy, what's Hentai?

Mommy, what's Hentai?

Mommy, What’s Hentai?

–

Battle cries from a violent shonen anime exploded from the TV as a boy with bright green eyes and brown hair stared, fascinated.

“Oi! Lee! What are you watching?” came his mother's voice, loud enough to make him jump a few inches off the ground. He turned cautiously, to see a grown woman with long blue hair, eyes that matched his, and a sour expression on her face. With her hands on her hips, she gave him her famous death stare. “Well~?”

Lee gulped, getting to his knees, and held up a DVD case from a rental store. The title read A Samurai's Revenge, a popular, yet very violent anime based off a live action drama. Lee, seven years old, pursed his lips together, hoping she would be kind enough to allow him to finish the series. He only had a few episodes left and the DVD was due tomorrow! Ai glanced from the DVD case to the TV, then to her son's begging face. She silently cursed him for being overly cute and dropped her arms with a sigh.

“Fine, fine. You can watch anime, anything... Oh. Just not any hentai. We don't want you turning out like Daddy, do we?” She laughed, nervously. As she turned away, her sleeve was tugged earnestly by Lee.

“Mommy, Mommy, what's hentai?” He asked, completely innocent in every way. Ai froze. She turned to him hesitantly. She didn't want to explain it to him at such a young age, yet she was afraid that if she didn't, he would get curious too early, and turn out like her stupid husband. She frowned.

“Um... They're... Dirty anime.”

Lee blinked, the phrase going right over his head. Ai only sighed in despair, and held up her index finger. “Hold on, Mommy will show you.” She said, before exiting Lee's room, leaving him to his anime. He's GOT to have something around here... She thought, accusing Shinobi silently on the spot. Racing around the house like a rocket, she searched and scoured every nook, cranny, and secret spot she could think of, even her own hiding spots, for any magazine, DVD or manga he may have hidden. Her search failed horribly, as she found no porn in the house. None at all. Utterly bemused, she grabbed the phone and dialed her sister's number, forgetting that she owed her son an explanation. Satsuki picked up almost right away.

“AH. Ai, you caught me at a really bad time! Me and Joseph are going to meet Eri-Kun and Alyce-Chan for dinner!” She rambled, sounding rushed. Ai waved her hands frantically, as if her twin could see, and pulled a huge PUNCH sweatshirt over her head.

“I'll be quick. Listen, Nee-Chan, you're never going to believe it, but there isn't any hentai in my house. I looked.” She explained, like it was a huge deal. Satsuki was quiet for a moment.

“...Did you look under the loose floorboards in your kitchen?” She asked, apprehensive. Ai nodded, tossing a spool of fabric to the floor, and flopping in her brightly colored bed.

“Yeah. I found his belt under there.” She muttered, before unwrapping a candy bar and shoving it in her mouth. She chewed silently as her sister rattled off more hiding places, like she knew the house inside out. Each and every one Ai had checked, finding nothing but stupid things not worth hiding. Again, Satsuki remained silent on the other end.

“Well, shit. I think... he may have quit... watching that stuff...” She mumbled, highly disappointed. Now she had one less thing to beat her brother-in-law up for. Ai blinked, staring at her comforter, swallowing the last bit of her candy bar. She refused to believe that her pervert of a husband had stopped watching it. It just was not possible.

“Well... Where does Jose--”

“YOU IDIOT!!! I know for a FACT, Joseph doesn't watch that trash! Don't you dare put him in the same boat as your retarded husband!” Satsuki yelled, breaking Ai's eardrum. Honestly, Ai knew Joseph wasn't type of guy to even think about looking at that stuff. Ai figured THAT was the reason he and Satsuki haven't had kids yet, while she and Shinobi had a seven year old, and one on the way, not more than three months pregnant. When she knew Satsuki was finished breathing heavily, she spoke.

“Ok, ok! You're right. Sorry, Nee-Chan.” She sighed and brought her knees to her chest. “I guess I'm just... surprised. No. Proud.” She whispered, a grin slipping to her features. Satsuki sighed.

“Good, bout time he had something for you to be proud of. Hey, what made you go looking anyway? Were you getting... you know... horny?” She asked, completely serious. Ai's face turned a miraculous shade of red before she exploded.

“WHAT?! No! Lee asked me what it was, cuz I kind of said something, and I didn’t know how to explain! So I thought Shinobi would have SOMETHING lying around the house! Maybe showing him would help explain it to him!” She hollered, the phone smashed up against her face.

“HEY. RETARD. What kind of mother tells their children about PORN!? If he asks, just tell him he doesn't need to ask about that until he grows up! Not scare the shit outta him by showing him!” Her sister yelled right back. Ai frowned.

“But... I didn't want him finding out too much later, and then searching it up, and turning out like Shinobi did.” She said, opening up yet another candy bar and scarfing it down. Satsuki inhaled deeply.

“You've got a point... Just tell him... 'Hentai is bad; you need to be an adult to watch it.' He's seven, he'll understand you.... probably.” She explained. Ai swallowed, sighing.

“Ok. Sorry I wasted your precious time to get ready.” She smiled, hearing the door slam. Shinobi was home. “Oh, he's home. Have fun tonight!” She hung up before Satsuki could answer, and in a quick motion, pulled of the sweat shirt and jumped off the bed to greet her husband at the door. “Welcome home!” She called, meeting him in the foyer. Shinobi slipped off his shoes and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Were you talking to Sat-Chan again? I tried calling, but you were using the phone.” He asked, taking off his scrub top. Ai flinched. He must have tried to call during one of their screaming matches. She took his veterinary bag from him and started towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, she was wondering if you had any hentai lying around anywhere. I looked. You don't...” She lied, glancing around before switching on the rice maker. Shinobi stopped in his tracks, his heart dropping. He laughed stupidly, eyeing the kitchen.

“Ahaha! Why would I have that lying around, when I have you~?” He grinned nervously, turning Ai more colors than imaginable. Before she had a chance to speak, he ran out of the room to see Lee. Ai raised an eyebrow before returning to cooking preparations, pride for her husband filling her.

What Ai didn't know was, hidden just under the oven, were the few DVDs Shinobi had managed to keep hidden. Suddenly, he wasn't as pride worthy anymore. If she found them, who knows what may happen.

-OWARI-