Just did finish this. I kinda don't like this page for some reason =/ Maybe it's the extremely simple background maybe it's the layout, I don't know. I don't know when I'll have the next page up but I'm going to try for Monday or Tuesday.
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Page 1
story, art & characters (c) me
Comments
Chartalon Says:
Ouch ~
Moo Sensei Says:
Ground plane, Yoake, ground plane. Come on.
Also, in the fourth panel; some kinda lines, design, or word so you can see that he's moving fast, or slow or whatever would be nice.
Your skeletons in the 5th panel look a little stiff and unnatural. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing though. They are skeletons, how would I know how they move?
The story is picking up and I don't think I've seen the rest of the story so I'm getting excited. This is starting to get really interesting! Whoo!
Also, the last panel is EPIC. The extreme black to white is a nice touch, it adds a lot of feeling to the scene.
I wonder who could be saving her? Hehe~ I think knowing takes this away form me a bit.