I almost forgot to upload this. The second page. Sorry it might be confusing. I'm going to try to get a bunch of them done so that I can upload them at a quicker pace for the next, say, 10 pages. It'll probably be something like 2 pages a week instead of 1, at least until I have a good start on the story. I'm trying to come up with a better system of how to do this: planning the story line and the panel layout, the dialog and the setting. I'm thinking maybe scripting would help. If anyone has any suggestions on how to make or plan out a manga I'm completely open. I'm quite an amateur at this.
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story, art & characters (c) me
Comments
Chartalon Says:
Seems interesting enough ~
I bet it's gonna be really good when you have gotten a little into the story.
Moo Sensei Says:
My only critiques would be the lack of a ground plane in panels 1 and 3.
Ok for the sake of argument it does create a somewhat surreal look...but it takes away from the effect when used on three panels in a row, which all convey different feelings.
I think it would have been more effective to have a simple background in the first panel.
However, in a lot of manga they don't draw the background in every panel, but use different patterns for different emotions. Example; someone says something weird or silly, there are curlyQs patterned in the background.
Oh and try and be more "outside the box" both literally and figuratively.
The "Boom!" would have been interesting as it's own separate thing.
Also, don't be afraid of them sticking their tail out of the box a little. it helps the empty white space become less confining and more interesting. :)