(Only "When I've see the people..."... I think the "'ve" is misplaced [or there should be a 'n' after see.])
You would like us to comment so you can improve, but I think it's already pretty good, what you need to improve is: believe in that you can already write poems that are (at least) OK and just practice. (Practice, practice, practice, it's all you can do.)
Comments
JelmerBV Says:
I personally think it's pretty nice! =)

(Only "When I've see the people..."... I think the "'ve" is misplaced [or there should be a 'n' after see.])
You would like us to comment so you can improve, but I think it's already pretty good, what you need to improve is: believe in that you can already write poems that are (at least) OK and just practice. (Practice, practice, practice, it's all you can do.)
P.S. Ik zie iemand die ik ken op de achtergrond
Fergle S Says:
I thought that was really good! Nice job.
vampire Miyu Says:
I say it's a very good poem!

beautifull, deep and it makes you think, me likes very much
sorry can't help you with improvements