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shame to a science
1.
I used to hate myself until I realized people will hate me throughout the course my life and it would be a foolish endeavor to contribute to this discomfort. In the past I would hit my head against walls until laying down on a sore spot was uncomfortable. One point my nose bled and I was so afraid to die.
You're told in your youth that you only die once. I've died several times already. Trust me on this one. I've passed away so many times that I no longer keep count.
You're also told about love and how it can overcome hate, of making a name for yourself, that some deity above you will adore you and adorn you, depending on what part of the world you live in. That's a lie too. Humans were born to hunt; we're tribal in nature and since we can't kill anymore by law, we use words instead of sharpened sticks.
In New Guinea before it was mostly civilized, when two men meet each other while hunting, the first thing they do is list their heritage and relatives to see if they have any next of kin, giving them proper reason not to kill each other.
Tribal mind.
2.
When I was younger my aunts would tell me the most beautiful lies about the heart. Every time you lie, she said, you have a black spot in your heart, and when it accumulates, you eventually die.
Like I've said, I've died too many times to keep score.
My aunt has a small daughter now. I wonder how many spots her heart has.
3.
I'm a liar.
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Comments
S p e c i a l Says:
I'm at a loss for words towards the subject but the writing is eloquent.
also, I've died about six times in my life quite literally. Nothing happens.
Melundomeiel Says:
I think your writing is always interesting to read.
BlueSkiesTomorrow Says:
you have a very interesting way of writing. i'm in high school right now and i'm surrounded by people with dyed black hair who think they can write well if they write lies about death and such, so i'm glad to get a taste of something new
Kori Says:
Ah, I love how this works backwards. Instead of giving us the base and working forward, you've given us the tangent and worked all the way back to the simple concept where all this branched off from.
It also takes a nice Megaton Hammer or the things we believe to be true- and honestly that's something we love to do nowadays. Breaking from the boundaries set by our predecessors we believe is something we're born to do in this generation, and you've done it quite nicely here.
Though the part about the Men from New Guinea doesn't seem to connect, it's part of a tangent. In connotation it fits quite nicely, but I can't put it in logic. Maybe when I put my contacts back in it'll hit me.
Also this makes itself get shorter. Anything long is intimidating, so this upside-down pyramid of a word-count makes this more appealing.
Between all this and your follow-up from your poetry, that's why this got Frontpage.