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Shattered me no longer...
When the tears finally come and cascade down these luminescent cheeks.
I will have finally broken into pieces.
At first, it will be just cracking like ice on a lake before it shatters and fades.
Then in the end it'll be full out weeping something I've wished for, for so very long.
So much has been closed off because I'd wished it so.
Why? Well, because what's the sense in crying?
So many answers and so little time to answer them all.
I've cut off feeling at all haven't I?
For once in my life I met someone who slowly slipped into my defenses.
Why you and no one else?
Why did I have to care even a little?
I say, because you wished for an actual relationship for once in your life.
As I sit here on this floor enveloped in complete darkness, I think.
Blare music in my ears and drown out the world around me.
Try my best to drown out thoughts and feelings.
The prick of tears pierce my eyes and I blink unwilling to lose.
Life is what we make it.
Life is life and is unfair.
But, why can't everyonce in awhile there be a bit of fairness for those in deep need of it?
Why can't there be a break in the test and the agony?
The tears push past my tightly shut eyelids and make their way down my face.
I finally allow them to flow for once in my life.
Finally, I allow myself to feel and sense the world around me.
And for more then once in my life I allow the darkness to enclose around me and hold me close.
Flickers of things flash before me and I don't even bother to make sense of it any longer.
Knife. Blood. Warmth. Then cold.
Then there is finally, Death.
But, after this there will be life, nice blessed, peaceful, eternal life, right, love? Right...
Jezykia Darke
7/19/2009
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