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Imprisonment
Why? Why did you put me in here? The question I asked was aimed at no one in particular. There was no one to ask, no one to blame. But pretending that there was, gave me some comfort. Why are you doing this? Do you really hate me?
I sat in the centre of my cell, alone. Or so I told myself. There was another here, but I pushed that thought into the deepest crevices of my mind. By refusing to think about it, I could hide from it. The floor was so cold. I hugged my legs, rubbing them to remind the blood to circulate. One day that door is going to fly open, and then I will run. I’ll run so fast, I told myself. There was always hope. I rubbed my legs some more, flinching slightly at the curious tingling sensation. As long as I don’t loose the feeling in my legs, I’ll be okay…
Somewhat unwillingly, I looked beyond the bars of my prison. I saw darkness. A void of nothingness, that supposedly, one day, would become my freedom. Did anything exist beyond these walls? The thought disheartened me. I did not know whether my cell was all there was in existence, or if the rest of the world was simply hidden from me. A deep sense of loneliness overcame me. Maybe, I don’t belong there. This is where I must be. I shuddered. Shudders from the cold had become frequent. I thought I had gotten used to them. But I felt something was wrong this time. Numbness enveloped my legs uncomfortably. I tried to move them, but they merely twitched. My breath got stuck in my throat. I tried again. No movement. No, I belong out there, I belong out there! My legs came back to life.
I must never loose hope. A lesson duly noted.
As I let my own hope warm me, I smiled. I smiled because for the first time, I could see through the darkness of the void. I saw my friends, new and old. I learned that hope not only brought warmth, but also a light to see through the darkness. They remembered me, and they will set me free.
With great effort, I pushed myself up. Standing was so hard, what if I was to fall down? Falling on the cold, hard floor would hurt. The floor began to shake, pulling me away from my trivial thoughts… injecting fear into my soul. It was here. A monstrous apparition appeared in the corner of my cell. It had no fixed shape. A continuously morphing, faceless, abomination. At that moment, it stood on two legs and had blades for arms. Even without a face, I knew it was angry. My legs began to shake. Fortunately I had enough strength to stand. Only just.
Helplessness, a feeling not unfamiliar to me, beckoned. I whimpered as it started to advance towards me. At that moment, a new unnamable feeling soared. One much stronger than hope. The door of my cell… opened. My friends called me. Freedom, oh sweet freedom at last. I turned towards my demonic cellmate, planning a gloating farewell. But at that moment, and eerie sense of déjà vu melted into my mind, and terrible memories resurfaced.
It was not an it. It… was someone I loved. Someone I loved, with everything that could be defined as ‘me’, was this destructive force of nature. This someone was angry, and would hurt me. I knew with a certainty that this someone would hurt me deep. Someone let out an agonising cry and at the same time, thrust a blade-limb into my heart. Another cry, and another stab. I fell to the ground silently. My eyes rolled towards the wide open door, tempting me to freedom. However I did not go. I remembered why I was here, in this cell, not alone. It was to protect someone. Beneath the monstrous disguise, someone was more vulnerable than I. Someone felt more pain than I could possible imagine. I would take the pain someone inflicted onto me, because it would never kill me. I would always have enough strength to protect someone.
After a timeless period of pain, someone disappeared. I was hurt, but I knew I would endure. I will endure until someone became again who they used to be. I turned to the void outside my prison and saw my friends. They were also hurt, seeing my pain.
Despite my injuries, I rose and closed the door, but left it unlocked.
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