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Crowded Room
Looking around
Seeing no one; even though there are many to see.
I look toward the door that seems so far away,
You’re standing there
Looking at me as if you can see the scars I hide.
My heart sinks as your expression changes.
You look so let down; so hurt.
My heart aches as the mask I have been wearing for years
Slides off my face, exposing everything;
Everything that I’ve done in my past
And everything that I will do in my future
That will let you down.
It’s written all over my face for you to see.
Your head fall as tears begin to glitter on your cheeks.
My heart splits.
Just seeing you cry is enough to kill me.
I never meant to hurt you.
I said things I didn’t mean.
I did things I didn’t mean.
You have to understand,
I never meant to hurt you.
Standing in the crowded room,
I only see you
And the pain I put you through.
It’s getting hard for me to breathe
You turn toward the door
I scream for you to stay
But no matter how hard I try
Nothing escapes my mouth
Like I had been placed in a silent movie
I can’t say anything
Though I have everything to say
I’m sorry
Please don’t leave
Everything that matters
I can’t say
Everything you need to hear
Doesn’t leave my lips
You look back one more time
And see all the mistakes I’ve made
Your eyes hold everything
You leave the room as I run after you
The door seems to get farther and farther away
With every step I take
The walls begin to close in around me
As I start to see the shadows swarm toward me
They take me by the arms
Tell me not to leave
‘It’s not worth it’ they cry
‘They will never understand you’
I look around as I try and fight their grasps
And for the first time realize
Where I am
I am in a crowded room
Being held back by the shadows of the past
All of them
Drawing closer to me
Bringing back the memories I never wanted.
It’s a losing battle.
I look one final time at the door
And see you peering in through the dirty glass square
I cry for help
But you don’t hear
I say I’m sorry
But you don’t hear
I tell you I love you
But you look away before you read my lips
Standing in the crowded room
With my past staring me in the face
I sit and wait
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