Usagi's Gift

Usagi's Gift

Usagi was hurt that Orion didn't care for him. He'd gone back to hating the demon and all it was connected to. Except Illybrius. He could never hate Illybrius, though he resented his master for letting the demon hurt him. He hated the girls too, the Enzeru chick and her host, for judging what they didn't understand. If the one who claimed to be an angel really loved Illybrius, she's side with him. Same with the demon. And Illybrius's familiy, they were all disappointments. As far as Usagi saw it, he was the only comfort Illybrius truly had. And even he was a disappointment, he knew, bringing boys home even if he didn't ever sleep with them. So he knew, even if Illybrisu didn't, that the next boy he brought home would be for Illybrius. Be a young sweet virgin boy, teenager maybe, smart as a whip with no past and the sense to love a god the way he ought to be loved. No more pain, no more disappointment, and when Illybrius saw how much happier he'd be with the new boy, he, Usagi, would pack up and move back to Boston. Find a life as a male cheerleader or whatnot, live it single, never look at or talk to another man and he sure as hell wouldn't touch a woman. Sure, he was bi now but he couldn't dishonor his master that way even if he wasn't a part of his life anymore.

Broke his heart just to leave like this, but he knew Illybrius would be happier when he didn't have to worry about him or Orion betraying no more.

===================

Illybrius was going through a modern-type puberty, and he hated it, hated feeling so weak and insecure, hated that he was setting himself up for betrayal by depending on people. Maybe he should just say fuck it all, fuck his newfound father, fuck the bloodbags, fuck all of it, and go home. Obviously the human girl, the one who'd introduced him and Akuma, had some kind of problem with the Drakoste. Ironically enough, so did everybody else who was more closely associated with that girl than with his own counterpart. So fuck it. He'd spend the time with his Akuma and his Ori, but he'd block himself off. Let it be fun and nothing more. It was the only way to keep from getting hurt. He could love them in his way, let it spark and burn, let it fade away. Until it did (which, from experience, he doubted it would), he was basically fucked. He could, of course, force himself not to love them....

He knew they thought he was selfish. He knew it was true. Why was it such a problem that he did what he had to do to protect people for whom he felt responsible, and why was it that the only people who stood up for him were his pet and counter? He was glad they did, but why ONLY them and not his Ori?

His train of thought was interrupted when Usagi entered with yet another new boy toy. Illybrius stood up in a rage, eyes flickering with a red-black fire.

Usagi dropped quickly to his knees. "For you, my master," he murmured, blushing and flinching slightly. Illybrius frowned slightly, but moved with an easy animal grace toward the boy.

"Found him in the alley by the bookstore. Says his name's Rafe."

Illybrius looked at the boy for a long moment. "Welcome to our home," he said, neither coolly nor neutrally nor warmly. Usagi swallowed his pain, stood up, and kissed his master goodbye. "Look for me if you're ever in Boston," he said.

Illybrius wanted to grab Usagi, force him to stay. Usagi must have sensed this, for he said in tones of self-doubt, "You'll be happier. He'll be a better pet than me."

Rafe brushed a lock of brown hair out of his slate-blue eyes, the first movement he'd made since stepping in the door. He spoke, in an accent that might have sounded a bit English, "Please stay for a small while."

Usagi hesitated, then nodded, sensing that both men needed him. For now.