Chapter 4 - A Still Alice

Chapter 4 - A Still Alice

“Hi Miss Alice.
With glass eyes.
What kind of a dream
Are you able to have?”
- ‘Still Doll’ by
Wakeshima Kanon


“Kai?! Kai! C’mon sweetheart… Answer me! Kai?!” Martha demanded. Swollen eyes full of sky and warmth blistered oceans of stress and discomfort. She put a withered hand on her granddaughter’s forehead and then her abdomen. Her own abdomen fluttered in shock. Kai’s stomach and vital organs felt like they were carved out from her torso. A frightening cage of bone and skin empathize its existence. Hips extended out from patches of frail skin. They stressed beneath the blue cotton pajama pants that hid them in solemn secrecy. Fear choked Martha’s throat. She knew exactly what was wrong; however, would it be too late to fix the problem? Her heart pounded like drums, giving warning of a terrible fate that would come if it dared to continue. Martha had a hunch of the disease that contaminated Kai’s little body. She glanced to Nikki, trying to hide her emotional state from exposure. Nikki’s eyes of forest and earth darkened with loss of direction and clarity. Foggy as her mind wandered, she couldn’t comprehend what her mother desired.

“Nikki, go in the kitchen for me? Get her a banana or something. She needs to have something in her system.” Martha enlightened. “C’mon baby girl! Talk to me? It’s Nana, heh…”

Martha carefully wrapped her arm around Kai’s rotting torso and pulled her up on the old woman’s lap. She swung her legs over past her knees and cradled her as she did on that peaceful night when Kai was still an infant. Gently, Martha brushed back a couple of loose strands of golden butterscotch hair from Kai’s face. They were now tucked deep and snug behind her ears, so that if she were to wake, they would not be of a nuisance. After Nikki flew out of the room to the downstairs kitchen, Martha looked down at her sleeping beauty. Freckles beamed around her granddaughter’s nose, forehead, cheeks, neck and shoulders. She giggled, looking at all the small faint specks of nutmeg sprinkled around the seventeen-year-old’s façade. It was like a pale morning with stars made from ash and fire thrown at the blanch sky.

Nikki’s footsteps were light and lucid as she made her way up the stairs. Her eyes went for the top of the stairs. As she rode each step, her feet glided like a frightened gazelle. Eyes widened, shoulders in front, a beating heartbeat, and antlers to defend against what would not be easy to witness; a little deer running from a beast; a little deer running from a pack of wild dogs. Not able to have the courage to predict the outcome, Nikki ran faster with each step passing quicker than the rest. Finally, she made her presence known at Kai’s bedroom doorway. Martha turned around to her daughter’s attention and carefully reached out a hand. Nikki drew forward and placed a small pack of opened saltine crackers in her mother’s hand. One saltine cracker wandered its way to Kai’s lips, persisting on coming in. After nearly twenty minutes to a half hour of trying to get her to eat, Nikki went for the phone in the kitchen, above the trashcan, and dialed for medical assistance.


Roaring rounds of whining sirens and barking hounds ushered a rescue squad to the estate. It rolled over a frozen muddy dirt gravel driveway. A small barn of goats bleated and perked up their ears with curiosity. Once the leader ran for a corner of the barn, the rest followed. A stable of horses poked their heads out. Some whinnied while others hoofed and grunted, waiting to be fed. A herd of deer glanced up at the bright flashy vehicle and headed for the dark woods. The driver spun over at an ankle-deep parking spot filled with mud and snow. He turned the ambulance around onto the yard near the clothing line and parked. As they rushed in, Martha opened the door with haste while Nikki fled from the scene. She went for the stairs and poked her head enough to see what all was happening. Two EMTs rolled the stretcher and lowered it so that they wouldn’t injure Kai if they were to hoist her up. When they found which hospital Kai was being taken to, Martha and Nikki grabbed their winter coats and headed out the door to start the truck.

The inside was new and had new carpeting. The seats were scented with that ‘new car’ smell. It was repainted with a sleek white paint and had gotten new tires. Between the driver and passenger seats, there was a Wal-Mart bag which carried a red faded shirt and a pair of American Eagle jeans. On the floor near Nikki’s feet, a set of steel-toe working boots rested until brought to their original owner. The engine fired from its restful slumber and ignited a fan of heat to its inhabitants. As the driver and passenger looked at each other with a decaying mist escaping from their chapped wind-bitten lips and followed the rescue squad to its next location. When the last visible object was the back bumper of Martha’s white Toyota, a pair of eyes shimmered from the twinkling bushes of snow and ice. Its leaves were radiant under the morning’s light. Clouds were still shielding the sky from announcing any sign of demonic life, or any lone shadow. The eyes were yellow, that rich Sulfur yellow like before. Black fur kept the creature’s identity a secret from the mid-morning’s wake. Soft whines were brought to fading while the stray licked its lips. Frozen from the unbearable cold, it lowered its head to lick its feet warm from frostbite. When it looked back up, its eyes were chilling methane blue. The stray stuck its ebony nose out from the ashes of the crystalline bush and sniffed out for any signs of life.

Thinking all was safe; the goats came from the corner of the barn and poked their heads through the wire fence. The stray perked up its head and re-anchored its footing. Innocently, it watched the little goats trail each other; its head jerking to the side. After a couple of moments passed, it stretched its back and shoulders. An outstretched yawn arose from its triangular snout. Sharp teeth and incredible canines were displayed from the stray’s gums. After a good stretch, its body shook, looking like a black ball of fur. Quietly, the lone stray lowered its rump and rested its chin on a paw. Slowly, its eyes fell victim and surrendered to sleep.



Panic spread the nurses and Martha as they rushed Kai to a room. There she was, lying in silence on the stretcher. Eyes shut, mouth caged by an oxygen mask, limbs punctured with IVs, and a hospital gown ready for use. Inside, blood was intoxicated with water, flushing out the harmful fires of agonizing fear that had imprisoned Kai’s ability to move. A blinding light flashed into her forcibly opened eye. All that was shown was a blanch sphere rattling in its cage. Tears of anxiety made Martha shudder as she and Nikki followed. Nikki held her mother close in case reality swept beneath her feet. A nurse drew back from the others and assisted Nikki.

“They’re going to give her more IVs and out her in a room. You two can wait out there in the waiting room until she’s settled. I’ll call you up and give you any updates about her,” the nurse informed the two. Both were silent with all kinds of mixed emotions. Martha clenched the suffocated Wal-Mart bag and slowly dragged herself over to a chair. Nikki was about to take her own seat until she caught sight of her uncle and cousins. Randy and his three sons walked over with hands buried deep within their pockets. Nikki allowed Randy to sit beside Martha who was still clinging to the bag of clothes as if her life depended on it. He leaned towards her and touched her hand.

“Hey Martie…” he said softly. When his sister did not answer, Randy took her hand and put an arm around her. Ricky sat on the other side while Darren and Warren sat near Nikki. Ricky was Randy’s oldest, about twenty-one years old. Warren just turned eighteen and Darren was about to turn seventeen. All three boys looked exactly like Randy when he was in his younger years. Ricky always trailed around Nikki whenever possible. Darren peeked at his pocket, awaiting a text message from his girlfriend, Sasha. Warren stared blankly at the doors, waiting for some type of response or news about Kai. Nikki glanced at Ricky and smiled weakly. Ricky glanced from his step-aunt to poor Warren. Kai and Warren were best buds since they were both old enough to walk. Inseparable, they went everywhere together. They even promised each other that one day, they would get married and start a family. Once Julie married Randy, Kai and Warren stopped seeing each other knowing that they were now nothing more than cousins.

“Warren… Warren! Darren, get him!” Ricky whispered. Darren nudged Warren with the back of his hand and nodded over to their older brother. Warren drew his attention to Ricky, idle of what was being thought of by the eldest brother. Nikki perked her head up. Her heart spun and in turn, went back to her own little world of analysis.

“Hey Warren, you okay?” Ricky asked in a low quiet voice. Warren stared back at the doors, still blank and free from any emotion.


In the emergency room, Kai began to start breathing normal again. Beeping lines were beginning to settle into a steady sound of a high pitched heart beat. However, her hands and feet were still cold and her mind was still lost in a world of wonder. The oxygen pulsed as it entered and escaped through her nostrils. She would still not wake from her sleep and started to engulf the nurses with worry.

One male nurse found a female nurse in the hallway, the same one who told Martha and Nikki to wait in the waiting room. Once she had gotten a verdict, she quickened speed and flew past the doors. Warren clicked into reality and straightened his posture. Nikki glanced then brought her emerald orbs to the nurse’s frosty blues. Martha and Randy leaned their heads back for any hope of news. The nurse called for Martha. Nikki exchanged glances with her uncle, worry stamped on their faces. The ink of hope was high with pressure beaming on their shoulders.

The nurse took a deep breath. “We think that she… has… um… We think she may have had a slight fainting spell which might have put her into shock.”

Martha’s shoulders released and her head leaned back and around her shoulders. Eyes were held captive beneath the harsh boundaries of her lashes. A soft moan of discomfort murmured through her lips. Martha’s neck pulsed, complementing her throbbing cranium. A gentle withered hand released from the Wal-Mart shopping bag and pushed against her forehead as if it were to fall off. Randy held his sister close, comforting her from every chilling fact. Nikki’s heart paused, her breathing ended up short. Tears beaded at the corners of her emerald orbs. Ricky observed and arose from the chair. Carefully, he put his arm around her. His hands were warm and gentle, brushing up and down at her shoulder at a soothing rhythm. Warren’s heart dropped. His brown charcoal eyes blistered out of his skull. His lungs malfunctioned, unable to breathe. Gravity yearned to bring him down to the depths of Hell, but he struggled to keep a tight posture. Darren sent his last text message and leaned over his knees to his brother’s direction. Sympathy and his own grief spawned from the sight of Warren’s vacant body.

The nurse continued, “However… One of the EMTs found something quite different. Zeke Paxton was one of the EMTs on the scene. He works for Virginia’s State Troopers? Well, he said something about her weight and that she was very light. Does… Does she have any problems eating?”

Nikki glanced up over at her mother whose eyes had reopened at the floor. In her mind, she remembered how Kai wouldn’t finish all her meals and would spend hours upon hours in the outdoors. A sniff escaped from her and Ricky looked at Nikki’s lowered head, still cupping her shoulder to release any tension.


Kai remained still as Martha and Randy walked past the curtains. Hour after hour, they waited for a sign of movement. Night fell onto the horizon. Both brother and sister were asleep. In the waiting room, Nikki became a victim to the comfort and security of Ricky’s shoulder. His head rested peacefully on top. Darren had sunken in the base of his seat, cell phone out of service. Warren remained silent and awake. His eyes were merely a moment away from being bloodshot. His breath was still of shortage and had pulsed in tune with Kai’s oxygen levels.

The following morning, dogs barked wildly. Strays howled and snarled at any stranger. A shadow of black fur lingered from the bush and prowled its way, hunched low and motionless, prying its way through the snow and ice. Steady and swiftly, it made it through the wired fence and into the pasture. Icy cobalt eyes glowed like flaming ice, motioning towards a sizable game. One small goat bleated, not knowing that he was being stalked. Speed caught through the predator’s veins. Hardly running, it flew, diving for the kill. As the kid turned his head, icy blue orbs met with his as sharp fangs were wrapped around the baby goat’s neck. A loud commotion of fear and grief lead to a rumble of hooves heading to the barn, pawing at the door to open.

Glassy amber eyes snapped wide open. Chest muscles extended, gasping for air. The heart monitor raced a high frequency. Brother and sister jolted out of their seats. Martha rushed to her granddaughter’s side. Kai’s chest elevated from height to ground. As her chest opened and closed with gallons of air, amber spheres were shielded over and over by shields of black curtains. Wet crusty sand dunes were supplied in the corners of her eye sockets. Nurses crowded the bed, chattering and analyzing what was happening. There on the bed, a little Alice laid still; breathing, living, but lost in a world twisted from reality.