How Not to Talk to the Person You're Not Talking To

How Not to Talk to the Person You're Not Talking To

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
But the roses are wilted
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head

Violets are blue
Roses are red
Please take an automatic
And shoot me in the head
Don't want a fleeting arrow
Or fickle Cupid's dart
Just take a normal arrow
And shove it through my heart

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Valentine's Day sucks
If you disagree, then fuck you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I think you're cute
So why don't we screw?

Roses are red
With stems of green
You're sweet, you're gorgeous
And I sure hope you're clean!

Roses are red
Sometimes they're yellow
You really are sweet
An adorable fellow

Roses are red
And sometimes pink
When I look at you
I don't want to blink

Roses can be yellow
So can a rubber duck
I'm talking to you
I can't believe my luck

Roses are red
It's what they've all said
On ironic whim
With thorns of green
I vent my spleen
Just to talk to him
This poem is dumb
My mind's all thumbs
And so I say farewell
So you birds in love
In skies above
Please. Just go to Hell.

Roses are red
And sometimes thorny
This poem is doomed
To be really corny.

Roses are colors
Same as a fire
Writing love poems
Invokes my ire
They're usually stupid
But then, so is Cupid
Nothing to say
So I'm leaving-- hooray!

Roses are pretty
Just like fire
For this poem
I am inspired
So much so, I've nothing to say
Except a generic
"Have a nice day."

Roses are red
Green is the grass
If you don't like this poem
You can just kiss my ass

roses are red
Raindrops are clear
I'm bad at these poems
So please don't sneer
Just wanted to say
If you have the time
Please write me back
Um... an ending with rhyme!

Roses are red
Chocolate is brown
You've turned my world
Upside down
That's a good thing
At least so I think
I'm gonna stop now
Because this poem stinks

Clouds are white
Like many a rose
I'd love to see you
Without any clothes

The sky is blue
So am I
Please talk to me
Before I curl up and die

Roses are red
Leather is black
I'm dying to know
What you're like in the sack

Chocolate is brown
So are my eyes
When I hear from you
I feel I could fly

Roses are red
Love is a lie
One more crappy couplet--
I think I'm gonna cry

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're young and in love
Whoop-de-effing-do.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're in high demand
How I envy you!

Doves are white
And they can fly
Vampires suck
And so do I.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Vampires suck
And so do you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
What should I say?
I haven't a clue.