Sheezy Exclusive Crazy Adventures Ep12 Pt1
Episode 12 Part 1
Streets of La Vintage
Some Toad: <on fire in front of a fire hydrant with a flamethrower yelling at a rock> WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!!??
Heroes: <stand there> ...
Lugia: <holds up his hand to say something>
Villains' Lair...inside Chuck E Cheese's!
Dr. Robotnik: <playing Metal Slug 4> Kiss my ass, you freaking enemies! I'll get you all this time! <gets up to the boss of level 1> LET'S GO BITCH <tries shooting the shit out of the boss, but dies due to one-hit syndrome> GODDAMMIT WHY IS IT SO HARD I HATE THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!! <headbutts the screen and breaks it, getting electrocuted>
Hades: <playing with one of those broken stupid crane games> I really don't know why people like these things, they cheat so freaking much! <claw JUST misses a hello kitty doll> YOU FREAKING GRABBED THAT YOU HAX!!!
Miles: OBJECTION!!! That claw was only doing what it was designed to do! Your opinions have no bearing on it! Deal with it, you stupid flame-headed noob!
Phoenix: OBJECTION!!! The people who invented the crane game are evil demons from hell trying weakly to make fun of our failure to get the toys inside!
Miles: What kind of comeback WAS that!? You make no sense! This isn't the People's Court!
Hades: <sitting in the audience benches> Um...time paradox?
Ped: SHHH
Phoenix: Well maybe YOU'RE too faggy to understand the evil power of hell's first layer. CRANE GAME DESIGNERS!!!
Judge: Hmm...valid point, there.
Miles: Your Honor, if I may...VALID POINT!!?? DO YOU PEOPLE INHALE DIRT ON A DAILY BASIS!!??
Phoenix: <has dirt on his nose> Maybe.
Miles: Who told you to call me faggy?
Phoenix: If you play the ABC song backwards, it tells you to call somebody faggy.
Miles:
;....
Judge: AND NOW BACK TO CONSCIOUSNESS <slams the hammer down on the thing very loudly>
Hades: <wakes back up in the Chuck E Cheese's the villains took over> WAIT W-W-WHAT!!?? O_O...did I just suffer a contact high-like hallucination?
Bowser: Get up, you epileptic.
Hades: Hey, it was narcolepsy...I MEAN I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!
Bowser: Isn't epilepsy where you fall down and spontaneously go to sleep?
Dr. Wily: That's narcolepsy, douche.
Bowser: Well... <puts on Link cap> EXCUUUUUUSE ME, WILY!!! <throws cap like a fedora into those Chuck E Cheese robots and makes them explode>
Dr. Wily: For what?
Bowser: For getting my friggin "psys" wrong. Bitch.
Dr. Robotnik: <walks over charred and shaking epileptically> <falls down>
Hades: <gets up> Jesus, did you get beat up by Sonic and then blown up by one of those scrap heaps of yours?
Dr. Robotnik: <sarcastcally> I wish...>_<
Dr. Wily: You really need to lay off the freaking Metal Slug.
Dr. Robotnik: No I don't! It's the coolest game ever!
Hades: More like "hardest". You can't get ANYWHERE without cheating.
Dr. Robotnik: Well how are you supposed to cheat on an arcade machine, hm?
Dr. Wily: <unsatisfied look> <holds up an iPhone and shows video of the time Dr. Velocity and Lugia played Mortal Kombat III together inside the machine>
Dr. Robotnik: O_O....that's the best idea ever! How do they do it!?
Dr. Velocity: <sticks halfway out of Dr. Robotnik's shirt> You do the happy happy joy joy dance and think happy and crazy thoughts, you silly walrus vendor! <pinches Dr. Robotnik's nose>
Dr. Robotnik: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SHIRT YOU FRESHMAN!!!
Dr. Velocity: <hops out and makes those "HOOHOO" noises like Daffy Duck hopping around the place> <runs away like Sonic>
Bowser: ...I'm so awed by his sheer stupidity that I can't just capture him then and there. In fact I'll be honest with you guys...I'm a little jealous.
Hades: Of a guy who never sits still and calls us "silly" and sometimes has a tendency to kiss people?
Bowser: I dunno, it feels pretty boring what I'm doing now if it can't be done...
Hades: Shut up and help me rob the crane game.
Bowser: You're on your own on that one, flamey. I'm not the one with a fetish for little kids' toys.
Hades: QUIET YOU HELLO KITTY HATER! D8
...yeah, I've got nothing else for the villains so let's check back in with the heroes.
La Vintage
Hotel
Oh you gotta be KIDDING ME.
Upper Lounge Area
Heroes: <lazing around, Articuno on Lugia's belly, Banjo sitting there looking retarded, etc.>
Are you guys enjoying yourselves?
Lugia: What? The bad guys don't have any retarded plans yet.
Nic: Yeah, and we also dealt with robbers and gangs.
You WISH you dealt with robbers and gangs.
Nic: ...okay, you caught me. We didn't really deal with those kinds...yet, anyway.
Nicolette: But man, would we welcome it right now. This place is a DRAG. Even if you warp into cyberspace and ban lots of online cheaters and n00bs from forums, the place gets kind of old.
Then what's that?
Nicolette: What's what?
<makes tv turn to the news>
Dan Waters: Good afternoon. This is Dan Waters with our top story. The band of heroes who have saved the French city of La Vintage from certain destruction was none other than the same ones who kept a mall from blowing up by a superbomb. Parts of the MySpace and Facebook communities, as well as people who actively wrote into VECNS gave us information that shed some light onto the group. It turns out from the information VECNS anchormen and women found that Head Commander Nic Tenshi of the Heroic Legion Justice Organization was seen during their latest exploits. This means that some of the heroes are official Heroes, or Heroic Legion members, while few are not affiliated with the Heroic Legion in any way. However, they were directly involved with saving everywhere they went from pandemonium to be caused by Dr. Robotnik, Dr. Wily, Bowser and Hades. Moreover one member of the group of heroes, Dr. Velocity, was said to have the necklace Valderis in his possession. This is yet to be confirmed in one of our reports currently in development, but you can be sure that we will continue to follow young Nic Tenshi and these valiant individuals as they continue on their quest. Dan Waters, VECNS News, Mega Times Square.
Nicolette: ...what? That's all you got?
Kazooie: Come on, there's gotta be some kind of robbery going on. This place is supposed to have a moderately high crime rate, right? The city's huge.
Oh sorry. Wrong channel.
<makes tv turn to a Mexican news channel with an anchorman going on panickingly about some huge gang activity going on in one of the major portions of the city>
Moltar: ...okay, that might be a cause for concern.
Zeph: Oh yeah. Those people on fire make it look like it HURTS...
Nicolette: Arsonists? PFT. How original. Zorak can show them how to do it properly.
Zorak: You damn right. The guy isn't even controlling the fire right! Put a little water on it, all you want is the building, dumbass!
Veemon: Let's go bust em up!
Guilmon: Yeah, it'll be fun!
Dr. Velocity: <spots a garden gnome statue on fire with Dr. Lawnmowers> O_O...
Lugia: o.o;...everybody back away. <backs away with everybody>
Dr. Velocity: <whips out magic guitar> NOBODY SHALL MAKE THE GARDEN GNOMES A MEMBER OF THE DOWNTRODDEN!!! NOBODY!!!
Dr. Lawnmowers: THESE N00B SILLIES NEED TO GO BYE BYE!!!
Jake: <hops on Dr. Lawnmowers' back> HELLZ YA BOI <readies pie bazooka>
Dr. Velocity, Dr. Lawnmowers and Jake: <jump through the glass and out the window going after the gangsters>
Veemon and Guilmon: <jump after them screaming YAAAAAAY>
Lugia: <starts to go after them but gets stopped by Nicolette>
Nicolette: Don't...this could be interesting. <smirk> <repairs the window magically and makes a demonic invisible video camera follow the dumbass heroes around> <sets the tv to show the camera's footage to everybody> Heheheheh...
Lugia: Won't more fans come chase us?
Nicolette: It won't be us they'll be chasing. Speaking of which, look who's on time...
Lugia: O_O;...oh god... <looks down from the balcony>
Lugia Fans: <bust through the doors and crowd the hotel looking up at Lugia cheering and stuff>
Lugia: Oh please let it be just a nightmare...are they REALLY cheering at me shouting my name? Are some REALLY flashing their boobs and holding up picket signs that say positive things about me?
Nicolette: Pussy. <shoves him over the balcony>
Lugia: <screams and falls onto the crowd, who hold him up and set him down> *Okay, keep it steady, Lugia. You can handle this. Just let them have their way for right now....GOD that sounded gay...* <starts signing autographs and doing stuff for the fans, pictures and kisses and all that> <some fangirls rip his shirt off> =O_O=...um...did you ladies know I have a girlfriend!?
Lugia Fangirl: Oh hush, birdie! You so cutely hot! >w<
Lugia: *Oh god please don't rape me...* <looks over to some fans a little worried>
Lugia Fanboy: If they get too frisky you can just call security on their asses.
Lugia: I got mace, but I left it in my jacket pocket...
Lugia Fanboy: Then hope they don't take off your pants. That wouldn't be a pretty sight for me.
Lugia: Ditto...
Nic: Aw, isn't that adorable? Lugia's spending time with his fans.
Nack: Doesn't Nack have fans?
Nic: Of course, silly! Remember our tours?
Nack: Oh yeah! Can we please have another one?
Nic: Sure, but after we put Valderis in his proper resting place and beat up the bad guys.
Nack: Okay.
Zeph: They're really going at him, aren't they?
Kazooie: Kid, you wouldn't beliEVE what some imagine doing to him. Some are that attatched. Remember this for when you develop a fanbase.
Zeph: o.o...okay, then.
Nicolette: <turns to the tv> Get out of that candy store and avenge the garden gnomes, jerkoffs.
Dr. Velocity, Dr. Lawnmowers, Jake, Guilmon and Veemon: <suddenly notice Nicolette talking through the camera> o.O?
Nicolette: MOVE IT!!!
Dr. Velocity: Okay silly wolf lady! Those garden gnomes aren't going to avenge themselves!
Dr. Lawnmower: LOL
Nicolette: Somebody hang me...>_<
La Vintage
Dr. Velocity, Dr. Lawnmowers, Jake, Guilmon and Veemon: <get to an alley>
Gangster1: Well what do we have here?
Gangster2: Are you boys lost? You've come to the wrong place.
Dr. Velocity: You set garden gnomes on fire!
Dr. Lawnmowers: We're going to teach you n00b sillies a lesson! A lesson in TRAVELOCITY!!!
Jake: I LIEK PIE
Veemon and Guilmon: lol
Gangster1: Huh? We're not those guys.
Dr. Velocity: o.O?
Gangster2: No no no, you're all wrong. Those were the CROCODILES, not us.
Dr. Lawnmowers: ...ooooooooh...continue. <flies away with the rest>
Gangster1: Damn fools. Getting their gangs mixed up.
Gangster2: Word.
<montage of Dr. Velocity and the rest kicking ass while the news crews apparently films them>
Nicolette: <switches frequencies back to the news> There we go. Names properly made. I WOULD do a little crowd control... <looks over to Lugia and his fans> ...but this is too hilarious. <tries to keep her laughing in>
Lugia: <being carried across by the mosh pit of fans feathers ruffled a bit> I bet anybody anything that there's actually people in this crowd who want to rape me.
Meanwhile, on the crime scene
Dr. Velocity, Dr. Lawnmowers, Jake, Veemon and Guilmon: <dancing the macarina and looking retarded on tv with the newscasters yelling their heads off at the heroes defeating the gangsters>
Villains' Evil Chuck E Cheese's Lair(in space now! 8D)
Dr. Robotnik: Freaking gangsters. So what evil ideas do we have today, gentlemen? Fill the ocean with mega mack, bum rush their asses guns ablazing, what?
Bowser: Not talking.
Dr. Robotnik: Are you going soft with these guys?
Bowser: Wha...n-NO! Of course not! ...seriously, guys. I'm not going soft and stuff. <.< >.>
Dr. Robontik: ...okay, anybody else?
Hades: ...I'm thinking we're being dicks.
Dr. Robotnik: You, too!?
Hades: GOTCHA!!! I think we should get our cannabalize on and-
Dr. Robotnik: OKAY, YES WE GET THE IDEA NOW, THANK YOU HADES. Anybody else?
Dr. Wily: I've been looking at my past ideas, and therefore-
Dr. Robotnik: UGH, not ANOTHER Wily Fortress. If the Yellow Devil is no match for a little cybernoid kid in blue underwear with quite possibly the most versitile weapon in his universe, what makes you think it's a match for those stupid heroic idiots?
Hades: Don't forget that Nic and Nicolette are with them now. And frankly, sometimes while making the stuff we try to attack them with, I think we're fucked.
Dr. Wily: You didn't let me FINISH. I was going to say that-
Hades: You're gay and have a fetish for beanie babies? Guess I'm not the only one who likes Hello Kitty, am I, turtle boy?
Bowser: <blows his hair out>
Hades: <holds his head> HEY!
Dr. Wily: <gets out machine gun> DO YOU WANT ME TO GET GANGSTA UP IN THIS BITCH OR DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MY FUCKING IDEA ALREADY!!??
Other Villains: o.o...
The King:
Sun: O_O
Clouds: O_O
Earth's Atmosphere: O_O
Bill Gates: Damn, Dr. Wily. Lower the blood pressure, will ya?
Dr. Wily: <lowers gun down> I'm thinking we should go ahead and attack the Neo Mobian Core. Of course, we'll have to battle through the mantle, but it's a straight shot if you wask me.
Hades: Oh I'm Dr. WOWEE!!! AND DIS IS PROJECT WUNWAY!!! <laughs like Elmer Fudd>
Dr. Wily: Oh, you DO want the machine gun now don't you, Mr. God of the Greek Underworld!?
Hades: You just called down the thunder. <snaps fingers>
Cerberus: <busts in>
Dr. Wily: <holds up dog whistle with a grin>
Cerberus: O_O O_O O_O
Dr. Wily: <slowly opens his mouth>
Cerberus:
Dr. Wily: <puts it really close to his mouth>
Cerberus: <runs away whimpering>
Dr. Robotnik: ...wow, Dr. Wily. You're pretty anti-animalistic.
Bowser: This coming from a guy who traps flickies in robots who don't do shit but hope Sonic runs into them and dies?
Dr. Robotnik: YOU DON'T TELL ME HOW TO BATTLE SONIC, DOUCHEBAG!!!
Dr. Wily: <holds up nuke> SO IS IT A GREAT IDEA!!?? ATTACK THE CORE AND STUFF!!?? <crazy smile>
Other Villains:
<murmur in simultaneous agreement>
Dr. Wily: Okay then. Just wanted to know.
<hides nuke>
Hades: Well which side of the bed did YOU wake up on?
Dr. Robotnik: Give him a break, you guys. He had to deal with Mother Brain, that retard Hippo King, and the fucking Eggplant Wizard, while trying to fight off cheesier heroes. I don't think his life can get any worse than that.
Dr. Wily: God, don't mention that shit...I have nightmares about Mother Brain coming on to me... <shudder>
Fast forwarding a bit...okay there we go.
Chicken: <walking around and pecking the ground> <explodes>
Some Mexican Desert Wasteland
Villains: <drilling into the ground with their stupid mech>
Dr. Robotnik: You know what's funny? The sentence "He kicked him so hard the graphics exploded."
Villains: .... <laugh like idiots>
Sky: <laughs like an idiot>
Sun: <laughs like an idiot>
The Arbiter: <laughs like an idiot>
Master Chief: <laughs like an idiot>
Marcus Fenix: <laughs like an idiot>
Team Fortress 2 Cast: <laugh like idiots>
Gordon Freeman: <has a freakishly big smile on his face>
Chris Bores: SHUT UP!!!
Everyone: <.<
Chris Bores: >8(
Marcus Fenix: <loads his awesome gun> Let's go, dolphin boy.
Chris Bores: OSHIT-
<following comes up against black background>
The villains are trying to drill into the planet's core now! And you bet Nic won't be happy about that. Will they- oh fuck it of course not. Be here for when the heroes kick their asses. And now, a special treat! Puppets!
Puppet Theater Thingy Made Out of Cardboard
<curtain comes up>
Puppet Judau Ashta: I'm Judau Ashta! I have a voice strikingly similar to Carol Channing! MOVIN OUT!!! Hey Roux! Can you pilot the Double Zeta for a while? The Zeta Gundam's more manuverable.
Puppet Roux: DAMMIT JUDAU >8(((
Puppet Judau Ashta: Aw, come on! Look at the bright side! If you're piloting the Double Zeta, maybe Glemy won't come after you!
Puppet Beecha: Glemy!? That momma's boy!? 8D
Puppet Judau Ashta: Hey I found a bomb!
Puppets: YAAAAAAAAAAAAY <blow up>
And that's why some of the American voice actors suck. TO BE CONTINUED, YOU SILLIES
Nicolette: That last part was horrifying.
...yeah, isn't that kind of the point?
Nicolette: .....I stand corrected.
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